Operation: TEA
by Numbuh Phenon
Summary: The Delightfuls expected cake, but what they got was an invitation to a tea party. Kuki takes it upon herself to educate the children in tea party etiquette and insure they have the time of their lives. Yet the hosts have far more sinister events planned for the evening.
1. Lump One

_For Katie. Sorry it only took 4 years_

 _ **Operation: TEA**_

 _ **Twins. Enact. Accostment.**_

"Five!"

"Four!"

"Three!"

"Two!"

"One!"

Cue the explosion.

Followed by the frustrated screaming of five delightful children who were suddenly not feeling so delightful.

The elaborate machine buckled under pressure, then burst; sending the Delightful Children tumbling in their garden. Bits of shrapnel and ash drifted down from the air, the five well-kept children sitting up with a collective groan. Shaking their heads, they awkwardly stood up as they surveyed their surroundings.

Oh joy; they had landed in Father's petunias.

Just another thing on the list of things to blame on the Brats Next Door.

Speaking of brats.

"This isn't over!" the Delightfuls said. Before them, the kids of sector V landed; the deviants looking smug in the aftermath of their victory. "You fools really think you've won?"

"Sure looks that way to me," Nigel said with a smirk. The boy jerked his thumb over to the smoldering pile of rubble that used to be a Spank-a-nator. "Since we just crushed your new toy, I'm feeling rather guilty. Tell you what, hand over the cake and we'll let you dorks keep a slice to split among yourselves."

"You think you're so clever, don't you?" The Delightfuls said. "We cannot wait to wipe that uppity look off your face."

"The only wipin' we're doing is wipin' the floor with you dorks," Wally said as he lifted his bowling-ball-zooka. "You heard him; give us the cake!"

"So rude, making demands of us. There's only one little thing you idiots are forgetting; this is OUR backyard." The Delightfuls chuckled deviously as they pulled out a remote. "Which means we have the home-field advantage!"

Sector V looked down as the ground began to rumble. Before they could react, giant candles sprung out from below, encircling them in a cage. They quickly moved to jump out, but were forced to the ground as the tips erupted into a fiery halo that blocked their escape.

Seeing their arch-enemies trapped, the Delightful Children effectively dusted themselves off as they walked past the team. The kids growled behind the bars, which elicited a mirthful laugh from the Delightfuls.

"Feel free to try and blow out the candles, for we have already gotten our wish," they said as they strolled to the table by the gondola. "Seeing your devastating expressions as we devour our yummtastic cake right in front of you is all we could ever ask for."

The entire platform was garnished with streamers, balloons, and piles of presents befitting of the spoiled children. Yet the thing everyone strove after was the centerpiece of the table; a towering cake veiled by a light cloth. Just thinking about what delicious cake assortment was underneath drove taste-buds across the whole suburb mad.

"We can only imagine what it must feel like; knowing how close you were only to fail as is tradition with you losers," they laughed as they fashioned handkerchiefs around their necks. "Why, we're even feeling a tad guilty. I think we'll let you keep a slice to split among yourselves."

Hoagie looked hopeful. "Really?"

"No." They grinned as they chuckled to themselves. Their joy ebbed, however, as they studied the cage and those inside more closely. "Wait a moment, for it seems we're one loser short of a full set. Where is Kuki?"

There was a tap on Lenny's shoulder.

"Yes?" they asked as they turned-

-to stare down the barrel of a teddy-bear launcher.

"Oh."

"'Oh' is right, suckas," Abby laughed. "Way to go, girl!"

"Thanks!" Kuki waved at her team before focusing on the Delightfuls. "Hi! Give me your yummy cake and let my friends go, pretty please?"

""Ah, ever so naïve Numbuh 3. We shall give you credit for asking politely, but we're afraid it will net the same result: a resounding 'no'." They calmly clasped their hands behind their backs, taking on easy-going smiles as they leaned forward. "Such crass violence is beneath one such as yourself, wouldn't you agree? Put that clunker down and let's be civilized about this, shall we?"

Kuki smiled as she began to lower her blaster-

" _Numbuh 3_!"

-only to fumble as she brought it back up and frowned. " _Heeey_ , you're trying to trick me, aren't you?"

"Trick? Oh no, there are no tricks here. Only treats." They gently pushed the launcher to the side and carefully strolled past the confused girl. She blinked as she kept her weapon trained on them, wondering what they were doing.

She thought they were about to surrender as they moved closer to the table. Neat!

Only those thoughts were dashed as they ignored the cake altogether and instead went to their stash of presents. Not so neat.

"How about we come to a little arrangement?" they asked as they ventured through the gifts. "The cake is non-negotiable, but if you're a good little girl and drop your weapon, then we shall give you-wha?" They paused, then came up as Bruce inspected a present they did not remember receiving. "Who sent us this red present?"

Back at the cage, Nigel got excited.

"Kids Next Door, Battle-oh." They stopped, looking bored as they tossed the gift away. "We're not falling for _that_ again."

Nigel deflated and let out a depressed sigh while Abby offered him sympathetic back-pats.

"As we were saying," they said while giving the bald boy a rather pointed look. They shook it off, then grabbed the present they were looking for and presented it to Kuki. "If you agree to put your weapon down and let us enjoy our cake in peace, then we'll allow you to keep this."

Wally watched worriedly as Kuki curiously took the gift. She was falling for their trap, hook, line and sinker. And people called _him_ stupid. He began gnawing at the candle to free himself and save her, but he stopped as she opened the present and squealed. "Oh you've gotta be kidding me! It's just a-"

"Delightful Tea-Time Rainbow Monkey!" Kuki was practically vibrating as she hugged the sophisticated the doll, with its soft pale fur, cute button vest, and monocle. All notions of cake and friend-rescuing were put on hold as she sunk to the ground, snuggling the plush.

Seeing their ploy go off without a hitch sent a victorious shiver down the Delightfuls' spines. Ah, the wonderful rush they receive when a plan comes together. They spared a glance at the rest of sector V, having no shame in admitting to enjoying their groans at their teammate's display.

"It should be no surprise that we come prepared for _every_ eventuality," they said, puffing out their chest with smug satisfaction as they nestled into their seats. They then looked to Kuki, raising their brows as the girl carried on. "You are aware we expect that back once this is over, correct?"

Kuki was too deep in the throes of rainbow monkey love to register that comment.

"O- _kay_." They put her out of their minds as they grasped the cloth, smirking towards the remainder of their enemies. "Don't look so disappointed, Kids Next Dorks, it was predestined to end this way. For every stratagem you concoct in that lousy play-fort, you'll find that we always remain two-steps ahead. And now, for the moment we've all been waiting for."

They pulled back the curtain, Nigel and company holding their breaths as it appeared that the Delightful Children had one-upped them yet again.

"What the heck!?"

All activity slowed to a halt, Kuki even clamping down her affection for the doll as she looked to the Delightfuls before her. The afternoon breeze fluttered through the gondola, and all present were transfixed in stupefied awe as they stared at the Delightful Children's latest birthday cake.

Or rather, where the Delightful Children's latest birthday cake _should've_ been.

"I-It's gone!"

Indeed, for the only thing situated under the cloth was a simple prop stand that gave way the moment the children pulled back the curtain. They stuttered among themselves, their coordination and unified presence forgotten as they looked under the prop, the table, and even off to the side.

As the realization that they had been played for fools sunk in, they began growling as their fists clenched. Angry Delightful Children were never a good thing, and Kuki wisely took a few steps back as they finally snapped and flipped the table over.

"That's impossible!" they yelled to the heavens as they stomped their feet, kicking up dust and dirt as they threw their little tantrum. "No, no, no, _no!_ This was not supposed to happen! We won't stand for our birthday to be ruined again; we won't!"

Nigel looked a bit confused himself before he 'ahh-ed'. Smirking, as he looked over his shoulder to praise Abby. "Excellent work, Numbuh 5. Stealing the cake while they were distracted earlier; brilliant!"

"Thanks, boss. One tiny lil problem," Abby said as she created a small space between her fingers. "Numbuh 5 didn't steal the cake."

"Your little deception will not work on us!" The Delightfuls raged as they stomped over, apparently having overheard the two's conversation. "Give our cake back this instant! We demand it!"

"Do you see a cake in here? Because I sure don't," Hoagie said. His arms swung out, motioning to the cramped confines of the cage. "But hey, demand all you want. That's your business."

"It IS our business because you scoundrels stole OUR cake!"

Kuki suddenly popped up from behind. "Maybe you got excited, ate it earlier, and then forgot about it?"

"Ah, of course. How could've it slipped our minds? We had it for brunch. It was quite-are you nuts!?" They reeled on the girl, looking at her with disbelief. "Are you toying with us, or are you really that stupid?"

Kuki huffed, offended, and turned her nose away. "I was only trying to help, meanies."

"Unless you can magically produce our cake, then you're not helping at all!" They turned their attention back to the other four, leaving Kuki to muse to herself as she chanted 'abracadabra' while they used the remote to turn up the fire. They snarled at their captives as the flames burned down the candles. "Now tell us where our cake is or we'll show you that Father isn't the only one that can make Kids Next Door flambé!"

"Excuse me, sirs and madams?"

"What is it, Jenkins?" they asked as they turned to face their butler whom suddenly appeared. "We're kind of in the middle of something here."

"I'm quite aware, but I must insist you see this," the man stoically rattled off as he passed them and elegant envelope. "It appears to be some sort of invitation."

"Invitation?" They swiped the envelope, tearing it open with delightful precision.

Inside was a red letter, embroiled with a fancy pattern so perfect that they themselves felt oddly put off by it. Shaking off the ridiculous feelings, they unfolded the parchment and began reading it aloud.

"To our most esteemed Delightful friends," they read, "We do so apologize for absconding with your birthday cake, but it makes a most excellent party favor. With that in mind, in order to make up for such a terrible offense to your persons, we cordially invite you to our extravagant… _tea party?_ "

"A tea party!?" Kuki suddenly snatched the letter from their hands, brushing off their protests as her eyes scanned over the invitation. "There shall be goodie-bags, pastries, music, atmosphere, and of course, the most delectable tea you will have ever had the pleasure of drinking. Ahhh, this sounds amazing!"

"Bleh!" Wally gagged from inside the cage. "That sounds like the most lame-o party ever!"

"You mean the _greatest_ party ever!" Kuki corrected before she pranced up to the Delightfuls. "You're going right? Tea parties are the most fabulous types of parties ever! Everyone gets to be fancy, there's cupcakes and tea, and you get to extend your pinky out and-"

"Enough!" The Delightfuls snapped. For a moment, their expressions were unreadable, as if they were contemplating something. For the briefest of seconds, Kuki thought she saw a flash of fear in their gazes, but it was gone as quick as it came and they were back to their scowling selves. "We will not be going to this ridiculous tea party."

"But you _have_ to go! You were invited," Kuki whined. "And it says you can bring a plus one. Can I come too? Pleasepleasepleaseplease?"

"No, because we're not going! End of discussion!"

"Uh, hey!" Hoagie shouted out, the ring of fire getting uncomfortably close. "Aren't you guys forgetting something?"

"Hmm? Oh, right." The Delightfuls rolled their eyes, using the remote to stop the flames, yet never freeing the rest of sector V fully. Looking extremely bored with current events, they chucked the remote as they began a slow trek back to their manor.

"Wait!" Kuki called out after them. She picked up the invitation they dropped and started running after them. "You just gotta go!"

"Numbuh 3 wait! Let us…" Nigel fruitlessly called out, reaching his hand between the bars. Sadly, the Delightfuls and Kuki had fully retreated around the bend before he could finish his sentence. "…out."

"Well ain't that just fantastic," Abby sighed as she watched her leader slump. She kicked back against the candle-bars, idly looking up to the ring of fire that capped their cage. "Now how the heck are we gonna get out of here?"

Hoagie rubbed at his chin as he felt the texture of the bars. "Don't know. Maybe we can try burning it at both ends? Haha, get it, guys? Guys?"

While the other three ignored their friend's bad taste in humor, coming out the back door, humming to himself while wearing a gardening vest and sun-hat, was Father. The walking manifestation of all things adultly and strictful ambled outside and took a deep whiff of the afternoon air.

"Ah, what a most perfect day for gardening," he said to himself. He whistled a little tune, completely oblivious to the caged sector V, whom froze as soon as they saw the man appear. While the man had his back to them, the kids desperately attempted to escape; Nigel and Abby trying to kick the bars down, Hoagie hoping he could spit out the flames, and Wally falling back on his default method as he began chewing through candles.

"Now that the children are preoccupied with their cake, I can finally take an afternoon off to tend to my…" He stopped, dropping his basket and gardening tools in horror as he saw his flower-bed reduced to rubble.

" _Noooooo!_ " he cried, falling to his knees and holding the remains of his precious flowers in his shaking hands. "My petunias! What fiends could have possibly-"

"Yuck! This wax is gross! Uh oh."

Father perked his head up and looked to the side, his gaze locking with four pairs of eyes.

There was an awkward pause.

Then Father's eyes went red. " _YOU BRATS!_ "

Nigel and Abby glared at Wally whom clapped hands over his mouth a second too late. Hoagie's shoulders fell, and he reached into his pocket and pulled out a pen and notebook. "And to Tommy, I leave all my Yipper cards…"

Inside the manor, the Delightful Children slammed the door shut, grumbling to themselves before ordering Jenkins to prepare their afternoon baths. It was their birthday (Bruce's, at least) and so they might as well get some enjoyment out of it, even if it meant sulking in a bubble bath for the rest of the night.

Because that was just always their luck, wasn't it? As much as they taunted Sector V about never getting their grubby little mitts on their birthday cakes, it seemed that ever since those brats appeared in their lives, their cake-eating quota had dropped to an astonishing zero percent. Why, they couldn't remember the last time in recent memory when they were able to enjoy the baked fruits of their Father's labor.

Well, there was that one time when Nigel and those baby chicks strangely gave up on the cake after putting up so much of a fight. They never did figure out why, but decided not to question the fortunate turn of events. The cake was decent, even if it left a rather repugnant after-taste in their mouths.

It was safe to say that they stayed away from cream-cheese icing ever since.

But of course, even that had came with its annoyances. Every single time, without fail, something always happened to interrupt their special days. What the heck did they ever do to deserve such constant torment? They were perfect little angels and deserved the best cakes in the world-and also deserved to rub it into every snot-nosed kids' face too.

They just wanted one birthday where things went their way. Was that too much to ask for?

Apparently so, because if it wasn't Nigel and his stupid little friends ruining their birthdays, it was some other deviant deciding to use their cake as a party favor at some stupid tea party.

They shuddered at that thought, yet did not know why.

"It matters not," they muttered as they reached the living room. They plopped on the couch, searching in between the cushions for the remote. "We would never subject ourselves to indulge with the common rabble."

"But why not?"

"Ah!" they yelped, holding hands to their heaving chests as they glared at Kuki, whom was kicking her feet on the other end of the couch. "What are _you_ doing here?"

"Trying to get you to go to the tea party, duh," she said as if it were obvious. She then held up the letter. "Just look! It's all fancy and velvet and smells nice too. You have to go to their tea party; they worked really hard on this invitation."

"We don't even know who _they_ is. They only signed the bottom with an address." They snatched the letter from her then balled it up before tossing it behind the couch. "But even if we did have a notion to whom it could be, we still would not attend."

"Why not?"

"Because we don't want to."

"But don't you want your cake back?"

"Let them keep it, it's not like we ever get to actually eat our cakes anyway," they said, giving the girl a rather accusing glare. Kuki sheepishly waved it off, but before she could protest, the Delightfuls hopped off the couch and pointed towards the exit. "Now get out!"

"Don't be like that," Kuki said as she wiggled off the couch herself. "Maybe it's a mystery themed tea party. That sounds super fun!"

"Do you have selective hearing? We told you we're not going." They then spun behind her, taking the girl by surprise as they began pushing her into the foyer. "And we also told you leave!"

"But you don't know what you'll be missing," Kuki said. She turned as they pushed her, facing them with a pout, but they turned away as they neared the front-door. "The chances of being invited to a real live tea party are, like, a buhmillion to one."

"If you're so adamant about it, then why don't you go in our stead and leave us be?"

"Because the invitation was for you," Kuki said as they stopped. The group had halted by a window, and were too engaged in conversation to notice an ashen sector V running away from a furious Father outside. "But if you go, then you can take me as your plus one and then we can have fun, drink tea, mingle, and all sorts of stuff!"

It was a very rare sight to see the Delightful Children from Down the Lane so close to the end of their rope, but Kuki always did have that special touch no other child seemed to have. The five pinched their noses, mumbling under their breath. Kuki was about to continue her argument, but the Delightfuls cut her off with small smiles.

"My dear Sanban, you are absolutely right."

"I am?"

"But of course," they gently said as they swung an arm around her. "You have shown us the folly of our ways. It would be most improper of us to turn down such an invitation."

They continued speaking as Kuki's smile grew wider and wider. So caught up in the moment, the girl did not notice as the Delightfuls led her closer and closer to the door.

"Unless we're mistaken, the festivities will be starting soon," they said as they opened the door. Positive that they had buttered her up, they gently scooted her outside on the porch and clapped their hands together. "We must go and prepare at once."

Kuki was bouncing. "Really?"

 _SLAM!_

"Foolish girl," they said. They gave the door one last withering glare before turning to escape upstairs. Surely Jenkins had finished prepping their baths by now.

"That wasn't nice, you know."

"AH!" they screamed, having a collective heart attack as Kuki stood before them, frowning and tapping her foot. The frantically pointed to her and then to the locked the door. "B-But you…we just…how on Earth did you-"

"Come _oooooon_ ," Kuki continued on as if she had not been interrupted. She waved her arms about, practically begging for the five to understand that they were denying themselves the chance to partake in one of the most fabulous events ever. "Tea parties are fantastic and fun, and you stuffy-pants need to loosen up and have more fun in general." She leaned, whispering, "All the fuddy-duddy-ness isn't good for your complexions."

They silently gasped as they all raised hands to their cheeks. They blinked, then shook it off as they went back to glaring. Yes, glaring. Because that had totally worked on her before. "Give us one good reason why we shouldn't have Sir Toasty evict from our property."

"Okay! I'll give you lots of reasons!"

Without warning, Kuki darted off to the side. The Delightfuls watched, lying to themselves if they said they weren't curious as to what she had up her over-sized sleeves. Kuki went off to the side, stopping at Father's old record player. She thumbed through the records, her face the epitome of thought and concentration as she searched for…whatever she was searching for.

"Ah ha!" she said, holding a record up triumphantly. Humming to herself, she wiped the object off with her sleeves before gently placing on the record-player. She nodded, satisfied, and then cranked the handle to the device as she lowered the needle.

The Delightfuls stood there sulking, unfazed even as some waltz ball-room music echoed out from the player. Just when they thought they had seen it all, Kuki took a ballerina pose.

"A tea party is fun, you see, if only for the magic," she said sweetly as she did a light spin, tip-toing closer to the Delightfuls. "Where you pretend to be best friends with high society."

The esteemed children that lived down the lane were beginning to get weirded out. That's when Kuki took their hands and jerked them around the foyer.

"Take a chance. Laugh and dance, if only for a moment," she swooned as they were pulled into an awkward tango. She let go, doing a twirl before extending her arm and looking at them with puppy-dog eyes. "It will be grand! So take my hand, and reconsider please?"

The five growled as the music swelled.

"We shall not go. We've said it, so take a hint and leave." They squeezed her hand, spinning her around into a twirl. They kept going and going until Kuki spun like a top before setting her loose to crash off to the side. "We have no care for this affair. So beat it, and leave us be!"

They dusted off their hands as they walked upstairs, assured that the girl had figured out the obvious by know. They were certain she knew the way out.

The Delightfuls walked until they reached their personal lavatory, sighing in content as the bubbly aroma of strawberry tickled their noses. They looked over to see their bath awaiting, and without further ado, they grabbed a set of towels and made their way over.

Before they could begin to strip themselves of their attire, they were greeted to another fright as Kuki popped up from the bubbles, smiling while holding their rubbery ducky.

She was trying to kill them. They were sure of it.

"A tea party is a chance, you see, to act silly and dramatic," she giggled, holding the squeaky toy to their faces and squeezing. "Don't be stressed. Just put on a dress and come and go with me!"

"We must insist that you desist," they said as they took her by the arm again. They lifted the soggy girl into the air, bringing her close to sneer in her face. "Or we will only get _angry_."

The door to the bathroom was kicked down, the Delightfuls marching out and dragging Kuki with them. They reached the edge of the second-floor balcony and lifted her higher.

"For you'll find we have the mind to toss you out on your feet!"

Kuki let loose a scream as she flung through the air, the Delightfuls intending for her to go sailing out the window. Ever determined, the girl frowned and reached out to grab hold of the chandelier.

"I don't get why you're upset. There's no need to be mean!"

She used her momentum to swing herself around, flying to land in front of the children. The Delightfuls didn't even bother hiding their fright this time as they fell on their behinds. Kuki only smiled; helping them up as she checked off the list of things they could do.

"Be fashionably, get back your cake," she suggested as she dusted them off. She noted something off to the side, and made a noise of victory as she grabbed a tea cup from one of Father's ceramic displays and passed it to the Delightfuls. "And have a spot of tea!"

The Delightfuls took the cup, and they could almost see their reflections in the glass. Father did keep his collection polished after all.

Though, it was mostly Jenkins who did the polishing.

The longer they stared at the cup, the more they found their anger dimming for some odd reason. They were lost in a trance, seeing their faces, yet slightly altered, in the tea-cup reflection. The whole idea of a tea party set them on edge.

It always set them on edge, yet they didn't have the faintest idea as to why.

They looked up to Kuki, who was still smiling. They groaned as they rolled their eyes.

"A tea party is not for we. This fact you may find tragic," they admitted, ignoring her gasp as they set the cup back on the display. They crossed their arms, flustered as they turned away from the girl. "We admit that it's just not our shtick. There! Are you happy?"

"Aw, don't you fret or be upset. Cause I feel very ecstatic!" Kuki then shot off, expertly sliding around to grasp their hands again, only this time she was bouncing up and down. "I'll teach you what to do! So will you go? Pretty please?"

The five frowned, not believing how persistent the girl was. After a moment, they let loose a loud growl as their resolve crumbled.

"Fine!" they hissed as they jerked their hands back. "We will go!"

Downstairs, Jenkins raised a curious brow as he shut the record player off.

"Hooray!" Kuki squealed as she danced around the group. "Oh, I promise it's going to be the best time you've ever had! We need to get ready, like, now! There's so much to do."

"Yeah, yeah," the Delightfuls grumbled, begrudgingly letting the girl lead them to their room. "Just stop acting like you're doing us a favor; you only forced us to go so you can go too!"

"Huh? No, don't be silly," she said. "Well, okay, maybe I was a little over-excited, but it was only because I think you guys need to go out and have more fun. Friends should always have lots of fun together."

"We'll have you know that we have plenty of-wait, what's that last part?"

"Um, friends should always have lots of-"

"Yes! That! Cease with that nonsense," they demanded. "We are NOT friends."

"Pffft, of course we are," Kuki said. "You guys come over to our treehouse all the time!"

"Because we want to destroy you and your stupid organization!"

"Oh." Well, _that_ certainly explained a lot. But ever so willing to see the positive in everything, Kuki grinned. "We're best frienemies then!"

"We're not best anything," they protested. "Listen here, Sanban. We only caved to do this because we want our cake back. That's it and all there is to this little partnership or whatever you've deluded yourself into calling it. And once we get our cake back, we're going to eat it all and not share any of it. Not even with you!"

"Ugh, fine then! Geez, don't be so fussy," Kuki said. She slumped a bit but shook it off quickly. No time to be feeling down. "I don't get you guys. Why aren't you more excited?"

"Because we don't like tea parties," they said. "We _hate_ tea parties!"

Kuki's eyes widened at that. She would've thought out of all people that the Delightful Children would be all about tea parties. Why, it fit with their image perfectly. But apparently, she assumed too much. Their words sinking in, Kuki looked to the floor, hiding her hands deeper in her sleeves and she shuffled her shoes around. "Well, if you really don't wanna go then we don't have to."

The Delightfuls snapped their mouths shut, never seeing this meeker side to Kuki before.

Kuki was supposed to be cheery, smiling, and annoying.

Not…no cheery, not smiling, and looking so dad.

Curse her for making them feel awkward.

"Uh, no. We…we shall go," they muttered a bit un-collectively. "We said we would and we will. Our reputations would be sullied if we went back on the invitation after accepting."

"Okay!" Kuki said, perking back to her normal self. "Then let's go get ready."

"But we're only doing this to get our cake back," they said, feeling the need to reaffirm their stance. "Got it?"

Kuki only gave a mock salute before diving into their closet, tossing out a numerous assortment of clothes. They exhaled with the weariness of a hundred exhausted children before bed-time and slowly reassigned themselves to whatever they had just agreed to put themselves through.

As with most things involving the Kids Next Door, they were certain this evening would be most un-delightful.

 _ **/-/-/-/-/**_

Sat tucked away in the highest tower of the building, a young woman twiddled away at her nails as she gazed out the massive window, the moon bestowing a slivery overcast upon her form. Her eyes narrowed as she looked down, the numerous guests flashing their invitations and making their way inside.

Nearly time for the events to start and no sign of _them_.

Perhaps rumors were right. The brats were lost for good.

"Oh, my dear sister, I'm afraid it's hopeless!"

The girl rose a brow as the door opened, in coming her sister with an arm dramatically draped over her head.

"Nearly all the guests have arrived and not a sign of them anywhere," the sister cried, making a show of falling to her knees. "I think we've went through all this effort for nothing!"

The other woman rolled her eyes. "Would you please compose yourself? We knew this may be a fruitless venture, but we will not leave here tonight empty handed."

"I know, but I did so hope they would arrive." Her face then became murderous. "I so long to get even with those brats after what they did to us!"

"It's been so long that they may not even be brats anymore," the other woman sighed. "So much time has passed..."

She blinked, something tickling the edges of her senses.

"D-Did you feel that?"

She stared at her sister, curious to find that she must have felt it as well. Before another word could be uttered, a tiny man in a large hat stumbled in.

"My mistresses!" he exclaimed, taking exaggerated breaths. "The Delightful Children frown Down the Lane have arrived! They've also brought someone I don't know, but she calls herself three something or another."

So the acclaimed Delightfuls did appear after all? She knew not why she was so surprised. They did steal their cake as a lure and went through the trouble of inviting as reparations. Of course they would come to take back what belonged to them.

She twirled her nail-filer, considering just giving them the cake to avoid a needless hassle. All the other guests were game, but she was not sure if she wanted to risk upsetting the infamous Father by involving his coveted children.

Yet that feeling earlier...

"Show them to us on screen."

"At once!" the man nodded. He waddled over to the large television screen, his hands flying across the terminal and showing a live feed of the exterior.

After the snowy static cleared away, the sisters were greeted to a blurry image of five children followed by another girl. The feed became clearer, and while they did not recognize the sixth raven haired child, they shared a gasp as their eyes centered on the five Delightfuls.

"It can't be…"

"But it is!" her sister cheered, bouncing up and pointing to screen wildly. "I would know those nasty little mugs anywhere! Uh, not sure if I'm feeling the new wardrobe, but it's them! It's them, it's them, it's _them_!"

"But," she hesitated, "they're so _young_."

"Oh, who cares how old they are," her sister waved off. Her eyes began glowing as she bared her fangs. "May we move along with the party, sister?"

She continued staring at the screen, studying the five children. After a long moment, she smirked.

Father could find new brats to parade around for all she cared.

"Indeed, sister," she said, raising as she studied her sharp nails. "Our guests of honor have arrived, after all. Let's be sure to give Sector Z a reunion they will not be forgetting anytime soon."

 **transmission interrupted**


	2. Lump Two

**Link has been reestablished. Now resuming transmission**

The Delightfuls watched as their chauffeur drove away. How they wished they were leaving with him. In front of them, obviously eager to rush in but sticking the acceptable amount of closeness to them, was Kuki. The young girl carried a smile that seemed permanently plastered to her face, and she skipped and twirled down stone trail, the frills of her pink dress fluttering with every sway.

How a child could remain that happy eluded them to no end.

Having accounted for Sanban, the five turned their eyes to the structure before them. The manor stood almost proudly as if flaunting its class superiority. They snorted. Their mansion was much more impressive.

"I can't believe I finally get to go to a _real_ tea party," Kuki all but squealed, her gloved hands failing to contain her mirth. "Thank you so much for taking me with you.

"But of course. It's the least we can do after you forced us to come. After all, why should we suffer alone?"

"Now don't be such negative Nancies." Kuki went up to dust them off and straighten the boys' ties. "We're going to have a great night, and you'll be thanking me later."

"The day we thank you is the day we willingly give you a slice of our cake. Speaking of cake, did we neglect to mention that it's the only reason we're here?" they said with sneers as Kuki pulled away. "We're not here for your amusement, nor are we here to have _fun_. We're here to show up, demand what is rightfully ours-"

"And drink lots of tea."

"-and drink lots of tea. Wait. No!" they stuttered as Kuki grinned. "Once we get our cake, we're leaving."

"You'll have fun, just wait and see." Kuki turned and urged them to follow. "Now let's go inside!"

They groaned, wondering if their words had gotten through to her at all. What were they saying? Of course they didn't. Nevertheless, the five took collected steps forward to walk past the threshold of the gate-

-only for it to slam shut as soon as they were in the grounds.

This was going to be terrible.

They wandered to the entrance, ignoring the rather off-putting lawn ornaments and fountain displays. They scaled the steps, meeting Kuki at the top and the obvious doorman.

The adult had his nose stuck in the air, not even bothering lower it or open his squinty eyes as he said, "Your invitations, please."

Kuki looked at them expectantly and they gave obedient smiles as David dug around in his breast-pocket and handed the parchment over. Well-behaved children must respect all adults on principal, or so the mental mantra droned.

The doorman unfolded the paper, his face still frozen in that sniveling position.

"Ah, the Delightful Children from Down the Lane," he greeted evenly. A thin brow arched as he counted heads. "From my understanding, they were only to be five of you."

"Yup, but I'm their plus one," Kuki smiled to her well-dressed acquaintances. "Right?"

"She is correct," they said without missing a beat. "We do believe the correspondence stated we were allowed a plus one, sir."

"Indeed it does. I am afraid, however, that I cannot allow you to enter on account of tardiness."

Their eyes widened. "T-Tardiness?"

"Yes. The festivities were to begin at seven."

They sputtered a brief bout of nonsense before glaring at Kuki. "You said it started at eight."

"No, it started at seven," Kuki said, leaning in to whisper, "but we have to be fashionably late, remember?" Their expressions froze in a stupefied manner as Kuki patted Bruce's shoulder. "Let me do the talking."

She pulled away and cleared her throat. "My friends are the most delightfulest Delightful Children in the entire world, my good sir," she said with a haughty accent. "They have much more serious matters and thingys to do before they can honor you with their presence. Isn't that right, my dears?"

"Uh, yes?"

"Precisely!" Kuki said triumphantly as she waggled a finger. "Do you not know how important they are?"

The doorman sneered. "No. I do not."

"You do not?" Kuki continued undeterred. "How could you not know how important your guests are?"

The doorman rose a brow. "I assure you I-"

"My good sir, are you suggesting your hosts would not invite the most importantly important people to their most important tea party?"

His stoic expression cracked. "No, I would never-"

"I do say, it sounds to me you are suggesting what I'm suggesting."

"Suggesting what?"

"My suggestion."

"What are you suggesting?"

"I'm suggesting what _you_ are suggesting."

"I'm suggesting something?"

"Are you?"

"Yes?"

"Ah, so you admit it."

"Admit what!?"

"Admit that your hosts have no taste in company."

"Yes. I-I mean no! Never!" The Delightfuls followed this back and forth with rising curiosity until the doorman finally broke into tears and began kissing their feet. "Oh do forgive my offense, sirs and madams!"

They looked uncomfortable as they tried to free their ankles from his grip. "It's quite alright. We, err, shall overlook it this time."

"Oh, your generosity knows no bounds, thank you!"

Kuki smiled with smug satisfaction. "I do believe you were about to invite us in?"

"Oh, but of course." He scrambled to his feet, opening the door and bowing lower than what was normally necessary as he ushered them inside. "Right this way!"

The Delightfuls looked to Kuki, whom nodded and strutted inside. They followed suit, their eyes wandering to the closing door as the last few minutes caught up with them.

"That was…different," they concluded. "We feel the need to give due credit to your…may we call it resourcefulness?"

"Oh, but you may," Kuki answered with a curtsy. "I wasn't going let that stuffy britches be rude to my friends."

They frowned. "Such rudeness would have never been called for had you not purposely made us late."

"But I fixed it, didn't I? Now everyone will know how important and popular you are!"

"Well, we _are_ quite popular," they chuckled, soaking up the praise.

"And that's why we needed to be fashionably late."

"Interesting." They began musing to themselves, wondering if such a tactic would be effective in other situations. It was never a bad thing to remind others of their justly earned superiority. They blinked as Kuki's last remark caught up to them. "And we are not friends!"

"Whatever you say," she said in an irritatingly sing-song voice. She then danced across the foyer, no doubt heading to the source of the commotion they could hear in the background.

The Delightfuls attempted to protest, but scoffed it off as Kuki went away. Let the girl keep her fantasies; as long they got what they came for, she could believe whatever nonsense she wanted. There were far more pressing concerns at the moment; such as studying the playing field as they fell into the trail the girl left behind.

The foyer was massive, giving them the odd notion that it was bigger on the inside than outside. The room was lit with low light, their eyes taking a minute to adjust to the subdued ambiance. The walls were coated in dark colors, deep red and black patterns splashing about everywhere. There were brighter decorations tossed in here and there, clashing so much it was almost tacky.

Only for them, tacky was a kind term compared to what they truly thought. Their annoyance with this place had instantly turned them off to any charms the hosts had laid out to win guests over. Whomever they were had already earned spots in their "posterior-to-be-kicked" book for stealing their birthday cake, no amount of flashy flair would change that.

This was obviously some sort of trap. Who would go through the trouble of stealing their cake only to invite them to a party to rub it in their faces? No. The hosts had grander ambitions, yet they were pained to admit they had no inkling as to what they might be.

Before they knew it, they had caught up with Sanban. The girl stood before a beaded curtain; the only thing standing between them and the party happening on the other side.

Kuki straightened her dress for the buhmillionth time this hour. "I hope they like my dress."

"That should be the least of your worries."

"Do you like it?"

"Uh, sure. Whatever," they mumbled, fighting off their blushes as they tried to be serious. "But stay alert. This is no time for you to clock out into La-La land as you are so prone to do."

"You guys really need to relax," Kuki said as she pushed through the curtain. "What could possibly go wrong at a tea party?"

"Kids Next Door!"

"Yes? Ah!"

The Delightfuls poked their heads through the curtains, curiously watching as a yellow-blur snatched up Kuki. This was followed by a jolt of confusion as they recognized the man has he took a swig from his gigantic mug of coffee.

"Shoulda known you brats would show up," Cuppa Joe said after taking a long gulp of expresso. He wiped off his mouth, then snarled at the girl in his grip. "But I'm running on _seven cups of black coffee_ , and it's more than enough to finish you off!"

"Do not kid yourself." Another voice shouted right before Joe was blasted away by a stream of root beer. Kuki fell on her behind, but smiled up to thank her savior. Her smile vanished, however, when she looked up to stare down the barrel of Mr. Fizz's soda canon. "That caffeinated charlatan is not worthy of the honor of destroying this girl. I, however, am a different case."

"Excuse me."

Mr. Fizz turned to offer a polite smile. "Yes?"

Only to scream as he was greeted with a face-full of laser.

"This brat is one of my sister's stupid friends. If anyone has dibs, it's me." Blowing off her smoking gauntlet, Cree smirked as she sauntered up behind Kuki. "Where is little Abby anyway? Hiding as usual?"

Kuki awkwardly laughed. "Actually, she's back at the treehouse. We can go visit her later if you want?"

"Not a bad idea," Cree said with a pleasant smile. Kuki let out a relieved sigh, only to suck in air through her teeth as Cree charged her gauntlet. "But how about I play with you first?"

"Yo, Cree." Cree lowered her weapon a tad and Kuki peered around the teenager's legs to see The Steve himself walking up, the only formal thing about him being the fact that his jacket was partially zipped. "I can't find the nacho bar."

Cree sighed. "There is no nacho bar, Steve."

"Really? That's lame, babe."

"Yeah, but you wanna know what's not lame?" she asked before smirking down at Kuki. "Wiping out an annoying KND pest."

Steve lowered his shades a tad as he looked down at Kuki. His eyes squinted for a moment before snapping his fingers in recognition. "Sup, lil dork?"

Kuki smiled and waved. "Nothing much, doo-doo head."

"Cute," Cree groaned. "I may actually miss that about you."

"We insist you lower your weapon, lest the evening becomes even more unpleasant."

Cree snorted, preparing to tell off the voices speaking to her. That's when it clicked that _voices_ spoke to her. She turned her head to the curtain, shocked to see the frowning faces of Father's little angels. "What are you guys doing here?"

"We could ask the same of all of you," they said. "And we intend to, but as we said before, drop your weapon."

"Are you crazy? This is Numbuh 3!"

"Thank you for clarifying. For a moment, we thought we'd gone blind," they said dryly. "We shall not repeat ourselves again, Ms. Lincoln, or would you rather have us inform Father of your insubordination?"

Cree growled as she stepped back. Her gauntlet retracted back into her glove, and she stubbornly crossed her arms as she moped about. Steve simply came up and gave her an awkward pat on the shoulder.

"We figured as much," they said smugly. They dropped their smiles as they looked at Kuki. "Stop sitting there like an idiot, it's embarrassing."

Kuki hopped to her feet and evened out the ruffles of her dress. "Thanks, friends!"

"We are not friends," they felt the need to repeat. "And don't think that an act of charity; your assistance is needed for cake retrieval, and you're of no use to us as a pile of ashes."

"So they _are_ here for the cake?" said a voice in the back belonging to Count Spankulot. The spank-happy vampire slumped and sighed. "And here I thought I vould finally partake in its yummy goodness!"

Steve looked to Cree for answers. "There's cake?"

"Yes, Steve, there's cake. The cake we're here to get for the prom after-party," Cree explained. "You know, the whole reason why we showed up to this stupid tea party?"

"This is a tea party?"

"Hey!" The Delightfuls snapped their fingers to draw attention back to them. "Just who do you people think you are? That cake is OURS and last we checked, none of you have permission to eat it. Just what the heck is going on here anyway?"

"A TEA PARTY OF COURSE!"

"AHH!" they screamed. They tingled with fright, Kuki coming up to pat at their faces with a handkerchief. The growled, ignoring the girl as they eyes scanned for the voice. "What is it with everyone and their mother trying to give us a heart attack? Who said that!?"

"Why I did, you see!" All eyes turned to the center of the room. There, having appeared out seemingly nowhere, was a smiling, stub of a man, his only defining feature being the large top hat upon his head. Satisfied that he had won the crowd, he tipped the large article and swung it around as he bowed. "I welcome you, one and all, to the greatest event you shall have the pleasure of eventing. The Fabulous Tea Extravaganza!"

Mr. Fizz rose a brow. "Not a very creative name."

"My mistresses are most uncreative with their creativity; one of their many charms, I assure you."

Kuki smiled. "I like it."

"And they shall like you, I am most sure of this," he said grinning ear to ear. "Do not be shy, for now that our final guests have arrived, we can finally commence with the gathering. Everyone, follow me, if you do so please."

He drunkenly swung himself around, teetering as he walked down the corridor. Everyone in the room shared skeptic looks, but shrugged and followed. The Delightfuls remained suspiciously lurking in the back, Kuki blabbering on and on about her excitement while they tried to keep their focus.

The crowd was herded down a hall that only seemed to get tighter and tighter the further they all marched. By the time that had reached the dining room, they felt as if they were lining out single file.

The oddness, however, was lost on everyone as they took in the room around them. The dining hall was a massive complex; a long table with embroiled cloth fashioned to the wood. The fancy chairs were cushioned, the utensils and cups sparkled radiantly, and the heavenly aroma of the baked goods sprinkled about lured in even the pickiest of eaters. Despite their reservations about the party, even the Delightfuls could give credit where credit was due. These hosts, whoever they might be, had definitely went all out with the catering.

But what held everyone's eye was the marvelous centerpiece. There, sat suspended in time behind a glass cover, was a three-tiered, chocolate frosted cake. Strawberries were lined upon each row with creamy pink icing floral designs painstakingly etched along the sides.

Truly the cake was a testament to Father's baking, which was most certainly more than a hobby.

"And that there is all I came for."

The Delightfuls gasped as a yellow whirlwind rushed by them all. They frantically looked around, searching for the cause of the disturbance, and were only drawn back to the table as Kuki redirected their gazes to the adult standing atop it.

"Cake and coffee," Cuppa Joe smirked with a lick of his lips. He hiked his leg up, intending to dash away with the dessert. "I think I'll just help myself!"

"But I will help you instead," the attendant that lead them in spoke up. Right before Joe knocked over the glass, the man popped in front of him. The fact someone had managed to beat him to the punch was enough to stop the coffee tycoon in his tracks. "And help you I shall, by helping you not make a grave mistake, my good surly sir."

Cuppa Joe settled down, tapping his foot impatiently as he stared the little man down. "How the heck did you move so fast?"

"Motivation. Motivation to insure my mistresses' soirée goes off most splendidly," he answered with a tip of his top-hat. "I am quite the motivated mover, I do so say to admit. Might I motivate you to take your seat?"

Joe narrowed his eyes before taking a deliberate slow sip. "Crafty little bugger, I'll give you that."

"You need not give me a thing, for I ask for nothing," the man laughed. Not wanting to test his mettle against the odd little attendant, Cuppa Joe backed down and hopped into the nearest seat. He kicked his feet up on the table, and the attendant turned to the remainder of the crowd. "But I lied, for I shall now ask for you all to take a seat."

Adult and teen villains alike moved to the table, grumbling as it appeared simply taking the cake by brute force wasn't going to work out.

As everyone else sat down, the Delightfuls stood stubbornly. To the normal outside observer, their eyes were transfixed on their cake and obviously plotting some devious scheme to make off with it. That was not the case, however, for upon a closer second look, one would notice that their glassy gazes were looking past the cake. The best-behaved children in the world had fell victim to a notion every other kid had succumbed to: allowing themselves the guilty pleasure of staring off into space.

This entire scene sat frozen in their minds as they took it all in. That eerie feeling they always felt when their minds wandered to tea parties returned ten-fold as they studied the décor. Warning bells were ringing, yet they knew not why. The setting screamed doom, but they could not describe the terror. Even the attendant made them uneasy, an ill tremor nesting in their bowels. There was something very familiar about all this.

Something very wrong.

"Come on!"

They were jerked from their thoughts as Kuki pulled them to the table. Before they could whip up a protest, she had already had them in their seats. "We gotta sit down, sillies. The party is about to start."

"I swear, we sometimes wonder how you've survived this long," they mumbled as they sat, suddenly suspicious that a chair that could fit all five of them had materialized when they weren't looking. "Are you that blind? Can you not see this an obvious ploy?"

Kuki gave them a skeptic look.

"Don't tell me you haven't figured it out!" they whispered loud enough for her to hear while the others chatted. "Making off with our cake, inviting every villainous cad this side of the world, _tacky table-furnishings_ ," they said as they pinched the fabric. "It doesn't take a genius to figure out we're all being played for fools."

"Aw, lighten up and mingle. That's always fun." Kuki demonstrated by trying to spark up conversation with Cree. "So, do you come to these sorts of things often?"

Cree sneered. "No."

"Me too! This is actually my first time," Kuki paused, ogling the teenager's outfit. "Your dress is really pretty."

"Please stop talking to me," Cree said as she turned away. She hesitated a moment before adding, "But thanks. Yours, uh, looks good too."

"Thank you." Kuki then turned to her Delightful companions. "See? Try it."

Knowing how unrelenting the bubbly girl could be, the Delightfuls looked to their right and saw Cuppa Joe. The man jittered impatiently, taking measured sips of his emptying mug.

"So," the Delightfuls awkwardly started. "Done, err, anything particularly evil lately?"

Joe's twitchy eyes snapped to the five and he narrowed his gaze. "Not since you goody-two-shoes let the KND blow up my coffee refinery."

"It's rude to hold a grudge," they said. Four of them broke away to single out Lenny. "Besides, it was _his_ fault!"

The boy grumbled under his football helmet. "Real mature, guys."

"Last I checked, y'all count as one unit. Which means you brats still owe me a gazillion pounds of coffee beans to make up for my losses!"

"Father said he would reimburse you, so back off!"

"I think that's enough mingling for now," Kuki tried to dissuade as she popped up between the squabbling. "Uh, besides, we should be drinking tea, not arguing."

"Why I do believe the little miss has a point," the attendant spoke again, the conversation dulling to a droll as he hopped on the table. "While we await my mistresses, we shall wet our whistles with the finest brew your taste buds have had the privilege of being scalded by."

The man took off his hat, reaching inside to pull out a tea-kettle. Not bothering to explain himself, the stubby man began swaying around the table, some guests leaning away cautiously as he threatened to fall over. Yet he never did, and continued to pour everyone a cup of tea with amazing precision.

The Delightfuls fidgeted as he stumbled by, him having to stop to pour them five cups separately. They took a moment to study the tea-kettle, their eyes drawn to it. It was a jade antique, tiny scratches and scuff marks dulling its glimmer. It was obviously quite old and they were surprised the man would still use it.

Beyond their causal observation, there was something off about the kettle; its jagged patterns and swirl designs tickling the back of their memory. Before they could inspect it further, the man moved on, and they pushed the thought away.

"Drink up, drink up! The hotter it is, the more satisfying the sting."

Count Spankulot smiled to himself, bringing the cup to his lips as he lifted his pinky. "Mmmm, this is quite good. I may convert to a tea-happy vampire before the night is through."

"Indeed," Mr. Fizz joined in as he lowered his cup. "Soda is well and good, but it is refreshing to partake in something deliciously different."

"Pft, I'd take a strong mug of coffee over this any day," Cuppa Joe butted in, ignoring his tea. However, as he went to sip his coffee, he panicked to find it empty. His fingers drummed against the table, causing tiny tendrils of steam to rise. He looked to the cup of tea and caved. "But I need caffeine, so bottoms up!"

Steve downed his tea and went back to analyzing the food. "So are the tacos coming out with the main course or what?"

Cree sighed in between sips. "There are no tacos here, Steve."

"But you said there would be tacos."

"I said we would get tacos _after_ we got the cake."

"So they'll bring out cake but skimp on the tacos?"

"See, this is why I told you not to skip lunch."

Kuki watched amused as the adults and teenagers around her sipped at their tea. After hearing such positive feedback, she could not wait to sample it herself. She slowly brought her cup to her mouth, the tea gracing her lips. Yet before she took a gulp, she noted the Delightfuls sat bored in their seat; arms folded and their tea untouched.

"Drink your tea, guys," she said as she put her cup down. "Everyone says it's really good."

"Conforming to the masses now?" they snipped before glaring at the cups. "We shall leave the tea guzzling to you buffoons. We prefer lattes anyway."

Kuki snapped her hands to her hips. "You're being rude."

"So?"

"So stop it and drink your tea."

"We don't like tea."

"You haven't even tried it."

"And we intend to keep it that way."

Having enough of their haughty attitude, Kuki leaned over and lifted the platter underneath the cups. Her intentions clear, she pushed the dish towards their faces. "Try it."

The Delightfuls scowled as they pushed it away. "No."

"Drink up."

"No."

"Here comes the train."

"Don't you baby us!"

"I will if you keep acting like babies, now drink!"

"No."

"Yes."

"No!"

"Yes!"

Finally snapping, they whipped their hands back. "We. Said. NO!"

 _SPLASH_

The chatter died as all looked at the end of the table. The Delightfuls themselves appeared a bit shocked, their fury sapping out of them the moment they realized the damage they had done.

In slapping away the tea platter, the Delightful Children caused their tea to rain down all over poor Kuki. The girl's hair was soaked, her dress stained, and tea puddling under her chair as it dripped off her body. Her face was reddened, a side effect of the brew's temperature. But upon further inspection, the quivering lips and watery eyes serving as main evidence, everyone could firmly conclude it wasn't just the tea that caused her skin to flush.

"Um," Kuki meekly uttered, those close having to lean in to hear her. "W-Where is the bathroom?"

Spankulot waited for someone else to speak. When no one did, he squirmed uncomfortably, and pointed to the far door. "I believe it is down the hall to the left."

Kuki quickly nodded, then took off to the door, gloves wiping at her teary eyes as she disappeared.

Cree clicked her tongue. "Harsh."

"That's rich coming from someone who wanted to blast her not even ten minutes ago!" They folded their arms, glaring at the table as they firmly settled back into their seats. As the minutes ticked on, their expressions wavered as something ate away at their psyche. It was a very foreign feeling, one they hardly ever felt; especially towards a member of Kids Next Door. The nagging in their minds still raging, they threw up their hands as they rose from their chairs. "Oh _fine_!"

The attendant, for the first time that evening, looked uncomfortable as the Delightfuls marched to the door. He fumbled over to block their path. "You mustn't depart. My mistresses-"

"Out of our way," they said as they smacked him to the side, continuing on undeterred. It wouldn't be hard to track down Kuki; they just needed to follow the trail of tea and tears.

The attendant stood, holding his hat in his hands as his eyes watched the clock. "Oh dear me…"

"Now that the stupid kiddies are gone, can we get this show on the road?" Cuppa Joe piped up as he smacked his hands on the table. "I got things to do, so hand over the cake before I get antsy!"

"Excuse me?" Mr. Fizz spoke up. "The cake shall be leaving with me."

"No, I'm taking it!"

"No, we are!"

"That cake is mine, losers!"

The Toiletnator attempted to speak from his seat. "I'm just happy to be invited to something for once."

"SHUT UP."

"Distinguished guests, honored invitees," the attended tried to pacify as he leaped onto the table, standing defensively in front of the cake. "Settle down, for the mistresses do not abide unruly guests."

"Mistresses this, mistresses that," Cree parroted. "Who the heck are your so-called bosses anyway and why did they invite us to this party?"

"I say, perhaps it is time to give them answers, sister?"

"Oh, I think we've had them in suspense long enough."

Once again the room went silent as the attendant perked up. He jumped atop the cake-display, balancing on one foot as he tipped his hat and bobbed. "Behold, for my mistresses have arrived; Madam Selina and Madam Sasha!"

At the head of the table, continuing with the theme of people appearing out of thin air, were two little girls with small smiles. The children sat straight with matching faces and red blouses. They were obviously twins, the only telling features being that one wore glasses while the other did not.

The girls, Selina and Sasha, bowed their heads as they greeted their guests. "We're very pleased you came all this way for our little gathering. We do so terribly apologize for the wait."

"But we won't wait anymore," Sasha sang as she bounced with glee. "For all our guests are here and the reunion can begin!"

"I am tired of these childish antics," Mr. Fizz grumbled. "Reunion? There was nothing in the invitation about a reunion. I came for the promised cake."

"We all did," Cuppa Joe said. "So what gives?"

"Oh my," Sasha gasped, holding a hand to her mouth in shock. "Selina, I think we may have mislead them. The poor darlings think we only invited them for tea and cake."

"That was the point, Sasha," Selina said with a controlled smirk. "I know I certainly wouldn't come if I knew of our true intentions."

Sasha was confused. "Uh, do you not remember the plan?"

Selina dropped her smile and stared at her sister."

"…oh! We were doing a thing."

Her twin rolled her eyes. "Anyway, if it's cake you want, it's cake you'll get. There's just a matter of business we need to settle."

Cree flicked her hands under the table, readying her blasters. "What kind of business?"

"Don't fret dear, it's not you we're after," Selina said with a disarming smile. Her smile widened to a grin as she stared hungrily to the opposite end of the table. "No, we're here to welcome our dear-where are they?"

The attendant began to sweat as the sisters realized they were short five guests. Well, short the five that mattered, at any rate. "About that, my mistresses…"

"They're here, right?" Sasha looked around absentmindedly before scooting up to Selina. "Right?"

"That was what I was led to believe," Selina growled, her ire focused on their attendant. "Did you let the weasels escape?"

"Eh, pardon me," Spankulot said as he rose his hands. "Might you be referring to the Delightful Children?"

"DID I SAY YOU COULD SPEAK!?"

"Calm down, dear, you're positively red at the moment," Sasha said as she reeled her sister in. Selina continued to silently fume as Sasha decided to take initiative. "But yes Sir…spanking vampire thing, we are referring to the Delightfuls. Or whatever it is those brats are calling themselves now."

Spankulot then jerked his oversized mitts to the far door. "They went to the bathroom."

Sasha blinked and Selina's anger fizzled out upon hearing that. They both looked to their attendant, whom only nodded in confirmation. Sasha looked away, staring blankly at the table. "Wow."

"Ugh." Selina face-palmed before slumping on the table with a pout. "I suppose we can wait a bit longer."

"Yo, twin dorks," Steve called out. "Can we get some chips and dip in here? I haven't had anything solid to eat all day and these sweets ain't cutting it."

The twins once again looked to their attendant, whom shrugged. They both rose a brow as they both said, "We have no chips and dip."

Steve slowly lowered his hands and gazed forlornly at the ceiling. He inhaled slowly, and then exhaled slowly; closing his eyes as he clasped his hands. "Alright then. I am officially _done_ with this."

Everyone near them yelled in panic as Cree and Steve leaped from their seats. The older Lincoln girl let her Battle Ready Armor coil around her body while Steve's jacket encased him with his own power suit. Several adults jumped for the cake, but Cree swept them away, using the moment of distraction to grab the display and take it into the air with her.

Selina snarled as she stood. "Put that down this instant!"

"No can do, little dork," Steve denied as he landed in front of the twins. "If the babe wants cake, then cake the babe shall get. So like, we're gonna totally flake on your stupid party now, okay? Okay, cool, glad we agree on that."

Selina composed herself as she sat back down. She and Sasha simply looked to their attendant. The man bobbed with his with a hesitant nod. Suddenly, the twins were smiling as they greeted their unruly guest.

"You can't leave just yet," Sasha intoned sweetly. "You haven't even tried our tea. It's a family recipe."

"Been there, drank that," Steve waved off. "Stuff was bomb though, not gonna lie."

"Ah, so you've already had some?"

"I'm not about to start repeating myself, dude."

"Just making checking." Sasha nodded to her sister, and Selina smiled as she snapped her fingers. All in attendance waited, wondering what was about to happen.

Suddenly, Steve began choking, and all looked on horrified while Cree could only scream.

 **transmission interrupted**


	3. Lump Three

**Link has been reestablished. Now resuming transmission**

Bruce, David, and Lenny shared a groan. Separating for any reason at all made them extremely anxious, yet they concluded that it would be more tactful to send in the girls to bring Kuki outside before they began dispensing with…

Well, they weren't quite sure what they were going to say, but they were working on it.

The door creaked open and out they came. Kuki was still damp, but had apparently managed to clean up most of the tea. She wasn't crying, though her eyes were red. Never a pleasant sign.

Their sisters awkwardly comforted the girl, one patting her back and the other handing her a tissue. Once outside, the two wasted no time in sliding back into their brethren. They all rejoined with a tingly _squelch_ and breathed easier as they became whole.

"Much better," they all agreed. "Now that you have made yourself presentable, I think we might as well return and brave through the rest of this atrocious affair."

They moved to leave, but stopped as they noticed Kuki not moving. "Oh come now, let's not dwell on such antics. What's done is done."

Kuki frowned.

"Cease that at once and come on.

Kuki frowned.

"…stop staring at us like that. It's creepy."

Kuki frowned some more.

"What?"

Frowny frown.

"What do you _want_?" Exasperation did not do justice to what they were feeling. "Us to apologize or something? We did nothing wrong; we told you we didn't want any tea!"

Look at that, she was glaring now.

"Fine. We're ever so sorry. Happy now?"

Kuki lost her fire and sighed. "You don't mean it."

"Of course we don't, it wasn't our fault," they said. "You just kept trying to force that tea on us after we told you we didn't want any. We reacted how anyone else would in that situation."

Kuki almost started crying again, but would not give them the satisfaction. "W-Well you didn't have to be such jerks about it."

They scoffed. "What of it? With how much we've played along with this stupid fantasy of yours, we believe we're owed at least some form of appeasement."

"It's not supposed to be a fantasy, it's supposed to be fun," she sniffled. "Why do you guys hate tea parties so much?"

"We told you, it's not our cup of tea," they huffed. They then realized what they said and quickly tried to backtrack their statement. "T-That wasn't intentional!"

Thankfully, Kuki ignored it, but continued with her prying. "No, there's more because you all have been acting extra grumpy ever since we got here."

"Really? We wonder if it has anything to do with the fact you forced us to come here."

"But why didn't you want to come in the first place?"

"Because we hate tea parties."

"But _why_?"

"It's none of your business!" They said. "We've never liked tea parties. It took us forever to beg Father to place his tea set out of sight so we didn't have to look at it. Everything about tea parties bothers us to no end and it's even more infuriating that we don't have a clue as to _why_!"

"I don't understand."

"Neither do we, don't you get it? Even being around pretend tea parties brings forth memories we don't need to remember."

Kuki scratched her head. "How can you have memories but not remember them? Did we decommission you by accident? I don't think we did. Oh! Maybe we did but I don't remember. I get it now!"

"We were never decommissioned," they said, but neglected to elaborate on that notion any further. "It's simply bad memories that should stay buried. Yet ever since we've arrived, it's all gotten stronger. As if we're walking through a dream we've had countless times before." They looked around them, shivering at the décor of the manor. "Though to be frank, it feels more akin to a nightmare."

Kuki faltered as they started rambling. In all of her encounters with the devious group, she could not remember a time they appeared so vulnerable. She had been so caught up in herself she didn't even notice how weirded out they were.

"Um, I'm sorry," she said quietly. The Delightfuls stopped their rantings and listened. "I didn't know you guys hated tea parties _that_ much. I thought maybe if we went and had fun you would like it, but that's not working."

"Gee, you think?"

"We can leave if you want," she said, rubbing her arm as she looked away, ashamed she had dragged it all out this far. "I don't want you to be so scared of being here. I'm sorry."

"Quit doing that."

"Doing what?"

"The 'sorry' thing," they said as they wiggled their arms about. "Stop apologizing."

"Why?"

"Because you're not supposed to apologize," they growled, Kuki's sympathy and kindness not computing in their hive mind. "You're our _enemy_. We try and destroy each other on a daily basis. Heck, we'll go back to business as usual once this little farce is over. Why do you insist on apologizing for every little thing?"

"Because friends apologize to each other, silly."

"Don't start with that nonsense again! Did you not just hear us!? We are NOT-"

"Well, we could be." Kuki stomped her foot down to get their attention. "You don't have to be such jerk-wads all the time, you know?"

"Enough of this inane conversation," they said, putting halt to any further arguments. They were losing sight of what mattered and getting distracted by Sanban and her apparent insanity. "Let's just get back to the party. Might as well see this through to the end."

"We will," Kuki said. She was smiling again, and they would admit it was better to deal with an oblivious, happy Kuki than a sad, serious Kuki. "We'll go back, get your cake, and then leave together. I promise."

The Delightfuls were silent for a moment. Kuki was about to repeat herself, but they responded with curt nods. "We shall hold you to it."

That bit of unpleasantness settled, the group meandered back to the party after the Delightfuls gave Kuki a quick once over. She supposed it was the closest thing to an apology she would get from them and accepted it for what it was.

It didn't take long for them to return to the room, and with past events still weighing on their minds, they failed to notice the grim blanket of silence that had befell the gathering.

"Sorry about that," Kuki said as she plopped herself down. "We're all better now, right guys?"

"Whatever you say, Kuki dear," they said with a monotonous drawl as they sat down. Their eyes narrowed in thought; calculating how they could get their cake and leave without further incident.

They looked around, curious as to why the lively crowd appeared so sheepish now. Most of the adults (Fizz, Spankulot, Toiletnator, and others they didn't care about) sat still in their chairs, their eyes riddled with fear as they squirmed.

They turned to Cree, almost amused by her expression. The high and mighty Miss Lincoln sat like an obedient lamb, her face contorting with a varying shade of emotions. Her fists clenched, but she did not act on whatever had her so disturbed. Every so often her eyes flickered to the teen beside her, staring intently before going back to stare at the table.

Speaking of The Steve, he simply sat idle, hands neatly folded and his eyes completely veiled by his sunglasses. He didn't budge and nothing fazed him.

This was more than a bit odd.

"So," Kuki spoke up. She had noted the silence too, but sought to liven the atmosphere. "Did we miss anything exciting?"

"Of course not, dear. In fact, we're were waiting for you."

"That's so nice of you!" She smiled brightly, greeting the two at the front of the table while the Delightfuls suddenly went pale. "Are we going to eat scones now? No wait, forget scones. We're going to eat the yummylicious cake now aren't we? I can't wait!"

"Neither can we," the girl with glasses spoke. "And we've waited so long already."

"Far too long," the twin spoke with a devilish grin. Her eyes swiveled to the Delightfuls, and they gleamed as she giggled. "We've missed you so much, our dear friends!"

" _Heeey_." Kuki looked at the five suspiciously. "I can't be your friend but they can? I never see them at your birthday parties. That's not very fair."

The Delightfuls said nothing as they stared at the twins.

"Well I never," Kuki huffed, the children obviously giving her the cold shoulder. And here she thought they moved past that. "You guys can act silly all you want, but I'm going to greet your friends since you won't. How are you, friends I don't know?"

"We're doing quite splendidly, darling," one purred. "Oh but there I go, blabbering on without introducing myself. Terribly sorry."

"That's okay." Kuki smiled. "My friends tell me I talk too much sometimes too. I hope your friends don't tease you about it."

"Aren't you just the _sweetest_ ," the girl laughed. "But that comes later. For now, I am Sasha."

"And I am Selina," the other said. "We are your hosts for the evening, and are honored you came all this way."

"Yes, yes, we've done the thing already," Sasha whined. Her hands splayed out against the table and she stood. "But what we have not done is gotten down to business!"

"Indeed," Selina said as her predatory gaze settled on the Delightfuls. "You five are terribly hard to find."

Shaking their heads, the Delightfuls snapped back to reality as they cautiously addressed the twins. "Hard to find? You invaded our home who-knows-when and absconded with our birthday cake."

"Ew," Sasha shuddered. "The unified speech thing is creepier than it needs to be."

Selina tapped her chin. "Probably another one of their tricks, no doubt. The brats were always crafty."

"We're right here," the Delightfuls grumbled. "And stop acting as if we know one another. We are not familiar with you at all, and with how poorly things have gone, we'd rather keep it that way."

"Now that _hurt_." Sasha fell into her seat with a dramatic wail. She sat there prone for a minute, then suddenly snapped up and threw a biscuit to the five. "Just who do you think you are!?"

They quickly ducked the flying pastry. Once it sailed over their heads, they countered with snarls. " _We_ are the Delightful Children. Who do you think _you_ are to treat us with such disrespect?"

"I'm going to strangle them," Sasha said, visibly shaking. " _I'm going to wring out their perfect little necks_!"

"The idea is so tempting I'm almost willing to relent to it," Selina said. "We've gone through too much trouble to be treated so…so…so _casually_ ," she spat. "We will not be denied our sweet revenge just because you Kids Next Door brats refuse to play along."

The twins expected a range of reactions. Fear, shock, awe; you know, the standard. However, they could say with utmost certainty that they did not expect the five to burst with uproarious laughter.

"That's _rich_ ," the Delightfuls howled as they held their sides. "Us? In the Kids Next Door? Puh- _lease_. We can't even fathom the thought without busting a gut!"

"D-Don't you dare laugh at us!" Selina spluttered. This was certainly not how she foresaw this going down. "We know for a fact you're in the Kids Next Door! You _have_ to be!"

"We don't _have_ to be anything; certainly not a member of those meddlesome Kids Next Losers," they said, their tone tapered with disdain. "Sanban is the only active operative here, and we _tolerate_ her presence, at best."

Kuki waved. "Hi! I'm Numbuh 3 of Sector V."

"Sector V-no, that _can't_ be right." Selina fingers dug through her hair while her sister whimpered sadly. They could not have possibly been mistaken.

Could they?

Not one to be foiled, Selina spun on the nearest guest. "You!"

Mr. Fizz flinched. "Me?"

Selina pointed at the Delightfuls. "Those five are in the Kids Next Door, are they not?"

"The Delightfuls? Ha! The very idea is absurd." His laughter was cut short as he shriveled under Selina's glowering gaze. "But, uh, that is simply my opinion."

"I'm not looking for an opinion. Tell me the truth, and don't lie to me." Her eyes traveled towards Steve as she spoke. "You know what'll happen if you lie to me."

"I-I'm not lying! Why, they hate the Kids Next Door as much as we do. I-Isn't that right, fellows?"

Everyone murmured a meek consensus, fearful of angering the two with false information.

Selina's hand dropped and she was floored as she looked at the Delightfuls again. "You have no idea who we are, do you?"

The question pierced them more than they wanted to admit. That queasy feeling returned the longer they stared at the sisters. Their faces and voices pricked at the back of their minds, images and flashes going by too fast to process.

Strange as it sounded, they felt like they should know these two.

They knew them like a distant memory.

A memory that should stay forgotten.

They steeled themselves and tightened their expressions back to their normal stoic gaze. "No, we've not had the pleasure of meeting you before."

After a rather uncomfortable staring contest, Selina fell back into her seat and massaged her temples.

"Unbelievable," she muttered. "All this effort for nothing!"

"But it has to be them," Sasha weakly protested. Her lower lip quivered and she looked as if she could start bawling at a moment's notice. "They look just like them. Just take away the suits and dresses-"

"I told you, it's been too long. It can't be them," Selina shot down her sister with a stern voice. "Their resemblance is a cruel coincidence."

Commotion died down as the sisters sighed. The room fell into an eerie quiet, the disappointed twins moping while everyone else waited on pins and needles.

The attendant yawned and spared a glance to the clock.

"Well, this is awkward," Sasha finally said. "What do we do now?"

"Round them up as usual, I suppose," Selina groaned. "Shame. I was looking forward to actually having some fun."

"What is that supposed to mean?" the Delightfuls asked. It took them less than a second to conclude they didn't care for the answer. "Nevermind. Look, we will only demand this once: return to us that which you stole."

"Pardon?"

"Our cake, you clod!"

"Oh yes, that thing." Selina gave the center-piece a wretched look before snorting. "Take it."

"…just like that?"

Sasha leaned towards her sister's ear and whispered, "Truly? We're letting them go?"

"They're not who we're looking for and I'm in no mood to rattle this Father figure's cage," Selina said. She then used her hands to shoo the Delightfuls away. "Take it and be on your way. Off with you."

Figuring it was over, the other guests rose to run for it-

"Did I say the rest of you can leave?"

-only to quickly sit back down.

The Delightfuls saw that everyone looked as if death had come for them. "What do you plan to do with them?"

"If you're so curious, then there's no hurry for you to leave."

"Oh no, we are in _quite_ the hurry," they eagerly said. Sure sucked to be the rest of these saps, but hey, they were not them. They turned to Kuki and clapped. "Kuki, be a dear and fetch the cake. We must be on our way."

"Okay," Kuki said with a hint of sadness. Never one to follow the normal standard, Kuki lifted herself onto the table and began slowly walking to the cake. "I didn't even get any tea."

The sisters looked at Kuki amusingly. "You haven't?"

"No," Kuki said as she prepared to lift the cake. "My cup got all cold and icky."

Selina and Sasha shared a look and grins crawled up their faces as they both rose to the table as well. "Now, that just won't do at all."

The two marched down the length of the table, all the guests holding their breaths. They held out their hands, and the attendant quickly appeared, handing Sasha the kettle with an empty cup and giving Selina a container with one lonely lump of sugar.

Cree's eyes followed the container with each step they took.

"Now we can't have you leaving without sampling our tea," Selina said as her sister poured a cup. She passed the item to Kuki, but before the girl could drink, Selina tutted. "Don't be so hasty. You haven't _lived_ until you've tried our homemade sugar."

"Really?" Kuki watched as Selina reached into the container and pulled out the cube. "That's so nice of you."

"And how _sweet_ of you to say so," Selina grinned. She lifted her hand to drop the sugar in the tea. "You'll have to settle for one I'm afraid."

"NO!"

Out of the blue, Cree sprang onto the table. She kicked the tea out of Kuki's hand and quickly snatched the sugar cube. Kuki protested, but Cree ignored her as she ran back over to Steve.

The sisters, for their part, were less than amused.

"My dress!" Sasha cried as tea soaked into her gown. "Why that no good little hoodlum!"

Selina growled, looking at Cree as she tried to pry her leader's mouth open. She raised her hand and pinched her fingers together. "Allow me to demonstrate what happens to hoodlums at our party."

She snapped her fingers.

Kuki and the Delightfuls watched curiously while the others simply waited.

Cree tensed, dropping the sugar cube as her hands rose to her throat. Her eyes watered as she started coughing, her knees shaking as she desperately grabbed for air.

Kuki immediately recognized the symptoms and rushed into action.

"She's choking!"

She scrambled to her feet and positioned herself behind Cree, trying to grab around her waistline despite their obvious height difference. Acting fast, she balled her fist, assumed the proper stance, and yanked back.

" _HACK_!"

Cree coughed as something dislodged from her throat. Everyone peered up to see the object flying to the twins. Selina and Sasha smiled, the former raising her hand to catch the tiny item in her grip. She lowered her fist and slowly uncurled her fingers to show off to fruits of her labor.

A new sugar cube laid on her palm.

Kuki gasped then look to Cree. The teenager swayed to and fro before going slack and falling to the floor. Kuki reached down to help, but brought her hands back defensively as Cree slowly rose. The girl watched as the teenager moved like a zombie, her face devoid of any emotions and her blank eyes dead. Cree ventured to her seat beside Steve and mirrored his sitting posture.

Selina giggled, the other cube floating up and her other hand snapping out to pluck it. "One lump, or two?"

The Delightfuls trembled. All of a sudden, they groaned as they held their heads, another wave of memories crashing into them.

The two were monsters. They remembering fighting to stop…

"You…stole their…" they quietly muttered. They fought through the sensation then looked to the twins with pained expression. "What did you do?"

"The age old expression is that when life gives you lemons, make lemonade," Selina began as she rolled the cube between her fingers. "But we rather fancy tea, and we see life, at its purest form, a sweet delicacy."

"Why yes! And instead of giving, like some poor charity case," Sasha said as she sauntered over Spankulot. The adult sweated with fear and started gagging himself as Sasha snapped her fingers. The sugar cube was deposited into her hand as the man fell victim to Cree's fate. "We simply take what we want."

Kuki fretted as she looked between Cree, Steve, and Spankulot as she slowly put it all together. "But what are you taking?"

"Their will, of course," Selina chuckled. "Or rather the sweetest, rebellious aspects of it. It's the perfect ingredient to our special brew of tea."

"We're also doing a service to these poor misguided souls." Sasha gently patted Spankulot's head as if he were a puppy. "Without that pesky free will you'll turn into a good, obedient little drone of productive society, want you dear?"

The adult nodded. "Yes, Madam Sasha."

"Good boy! I'm keeping you."

"We normally harvest from children; their misbehaving essence makes for the sweetest nectar. But given the circumstances, we were willing to make an exception for a special occasion."

"An occasion that will never come to pass, I'm afraid," Sasha said with a weary sigh. The girl then looked to Kuki with a hungry smirk. "Oh well. I guess we'll have to fall back on old habits."

"That's not necessarily a bad thing," Selina said as she raised her hands. "Kuki, was it? I wonder how sweet you'll taste."

She snapped her fingers.

Everyone flinched as they waited for Kuki to start coughing up sugar. Only, after a few minutes, nothing seemed to happen.

Selina frowned, snapping her fingers again. Nothing.

Again.

The brat was fine.

The girl continued snapping her fingers, her ire growing with each failed attempt. "WHAT GIVES!?"

"Selina?"

"WHAT?"

"Firstly, calm down," Sasha tried to pacify. "Secondly, it just occurred to me that she never actually drank any tea."

"Oh. Right."

The Delightfuls shook their heads. What fools, forgetting their own rules. Their victims had to ingest their tea before their dark magic could affect them. It was a sure fire away to insure one's will would never be broken.

They then withered under mental pressure, holding their heads and trying to figure out _how_ they would know that.

"Well I'm definitely not having any of your yucky tea now," Kuki spat before raising her fists. "Give back Abby's big sister's sugar along with everyone else's, you meanies!"

Selina frowned. "That sounds like a dreadful idea."

"I know!" Sasha perked up. "Why don't we simply force her to drink our tea?"

Selina grinned. "That sounds like an excellent idea."

"We'll stop you! Right, Delightful friends?"

"Sure, whatever," they said. Anything to get her to shut up so they could focus on this headache. These memories were becoming too intense and they found it harder to fight them off. The sisters were only becoming clearer in their minds, along with the warning of danger that went along with them.

"Throwing your lot in with your little friend? So be it. And here we were willing to let you go."

"Wait, what?" they asked only to find Kuki was at their side in a fighting stance. They looked to her, and then the sisters and only then realized what they had agreed to do. "Now hold on, we want nothing to do with-"

"Too late!" Sasha squealed with a snap of her fingers.

Around the table everyone screamed before chocking on their terror. Adult and teens alike coughed up lumps of sugar, one by one falling victim to the twin's dark magic. They all sat obediently, only to turn their heads towards Kuki and the Delightfuls as Sasha swirled her finger.

"Adolescence and adulthood spoils the mixture. The innocence of children is so much more delectable," she crackled. "Be dears and round the brats up."

"Oh would you look at that," the Delightfuls gasped as they pointed to the clock. Everyone took a quick glance and they used the brief second to run. "Time to go!"

Kuki looked over at the empty seat. She then yelped as Steve dove for her. The girl managed to jump up, landing on his back before delivering a kick upside Cree's chin. Other adults began climbing on the table, and she rolled off and tugged the cloth with her, sending them all tumbling. Seeing her chance, she took off after the Delightfuls.

Selina groaned into the palm of her hand. "Why do they always run?"

"I quite enjoy it," Sasha said with an eager grin. "Gives the help a chance to exercise."

While the sisters chattered and their minions scattered, the attendant swung his legs rhythmically as he sat atop the grandfather clock. He spared a look to his mistresses and then curiously looked to where the Delightfuls ran off to.

"So much more cowardly than last time, so much change," he tsked as he took off his hat. "Motivation is what they need."

He tossed his hat out into the air and jumped into it, pulling the rim inside out as he fell and disappeared.

In the study, a party of adults lead by Spankulot scanned the area. Seeing no sign of their prey, they went on to the next room. The moment they rounded the corner, six heads popped out from behind the window curtain.

The Delightfuls wiped off their sweat before growling down at Kuki. "Are you satisfied? You just had to go and play hero."

"But they're bad guys," Kuki argued. "It's my job!"

"Your job, not ours," they said as they tip-toed out. They looked out the window, seeing that they had somehow gotten to the second floor. They tugged the curtains, then shrugged as they tried to pry the window open. "Sit the cake down and help us with this."

"I don't have the cake."

" _What_? How could you possibly forget to-grrrr." Their vision went red but they suppressed the violent urge. "You know what? We'll get cupcakes on the way back. Now get over here and lift!"

"Cupcakes sound really good right now, actually," Kuki hummed in agreement. She trotted over to lend a hand, only to stop as something didn't make sense. "Wait, how are we going to fight them from outside?"

"Your humor is noted, but not helping with the escape, Sanban."

"What about the others?"

"What about them?"

"How can you just leave them behind?"

"It's quite simple really." Using their anger as fuel, they gave a mighty heave and tore the window from its bolts, lifting it open to let in the evening breeze. "See what we mean?"

"No, I don't," Kuki said as she stomped her foot. "We have to save them."

"This 'we' nonsense is getting irritating," they grumbled as they ripped the curtain and tied it to the golden sill.

Kuki let loose an aggravated whine. "I can't believe you guys can be so-watch out!"

The Delightfuls were halfway out the window when they saw Cuppa Joe speeding into the room, He knocked Kuki aside with a swing of his massive mug, then centered his wrath to them. They tried to resist, but in doing so, lost their grip and fell outside.

They screamed as they plummeted, hitting the ground with a thud. They laid pathetically in their Delightful dog-pile, groaning and wincing at the bruises they were sure to get tomorrow. So caught up in their pity party, they failed to notice the looming shadow of Cuppa Joe. The man lifted his giant mug, the size blocking out the moonlight. The five held each other, whimpering as they awaited certain doom.

"Hiya!"

"Ah!"

Their eyes snapped open to see Kuki landing atop of Joe. The adult stumbled backwards as Kuki wrapped her legs around his neck, quickly making use of the curtain to fashion a make-shift blind-fold. She curled it around Joe's eyes, and held the bindings tightly as he frantically stomped around.

"Watch where you're going, clumsy," Kuki giggled as she held fast. The Delightfuls watched as Kuki kept her balance, reminding them of some carnival act at the county fair. She gave them a cheeky week as she whispered in Joe's ear "Uh oh. They're getting away!"

Cuppa Joe tensed, then revved up his legs for the chase. Kuki directed him to the left before he shot off like a bullet. At the last second, she kick-flipped off him as he crashed into the manor wall. He slowly peeled back, baring a dizzy smile before falling over, a Cuppa Joe shaped indention marking the building.

Kuki seemingly floated down, landing ever so gracefully in a pose in front of the Delightfuls. She quickly righted her dress, then bobbed a curtsy.

The Delightfuls blinked as they processed what happened. The insane girl had the ample opportunity to escape and she blew it. They nearly chastised her foolhardiness only to realize she threw away her perfect getaway to assist them. "You saved us?"

"Of course I did," she said. She held her hand out and smiled. "Why wouldn't I?"

They gently brushed her hand aside as they stood, finding themselves lost for words.

"Uh," they mumbled. "We…we see the exit!" They quickly shifted subjects to avoid an awkward conversation. "Freedom is only a short jog away."

Kuki followed their gaze. "Oh, I get it. We escape and get back-up. Wow, you guys are smart."

"Was there any doubt? And would you like to know what's even smarter?" they asked sweetly before their faces turned stern. "Forgetting the whole 'back-up' part and escape. Period."

"But what about-"

"They're your mortal enemies for crying out loud. You should be jumping for joy that someone else has done your dirty work."

"It's still not right!"

"Blah, blah, blah, you and your stupid morals," they said. They collectively pinched their noses, frustration bubbling and their headaches only getting worse. "We can't believe we're going through mess again."

Kuki held her tongue as they muttered that. " _Again_?"

Oh darn, they thought aloud. "B-By which we mean…uh, a-arguing with you again, you troublesome ditz!"

"No you don't," Kuki rebuffed and they flinched in response. They had rarely seen the girl with such a serious demeanor. "You're talking about those twins, aren't you?"

"You and all these questions!" they raged, sharply walking to the gate. "A waste of time is what it is!"

"This is about why you hate tea parties, isn't it?" Kuki would not relent as she jumped out in front of them and rose her arms. "You _do_ know those two."

It wasn't a question and they were in no mood for her antics. "You're treading dangerous waters, girl."

"How do you know them?"

They clenched their heads. "Shut up."

"Tell me."

" _Drop it_."

"Fine." Her frown deepened. "Only if you guys help me stop them."

"We refuse!"

"Why!?"

"Because we won't face those demons again, _we won't_!"

All went still as the Delightfuls just stood there, having clammed up upon realizing what they said. Their hands slowly lowered from their heads and they simply stared down at their palms, their eyes heavy with burden as all the pieces fell into place.

Kuki waited a moment before asking, "You remember now, don't you?"

They did not look up when they answered, "Yes."

"But…you still won't go back, will you?"

Their arms tucked against their sides as they stared past her. "No."

Kuki balled her fists, tears welling in her eyes as she looked around. She took a sharp breath, and muffled her emotions as she lifted her dress and walked around the five. "Well _I'm_ going to fight them. Those doody-heads will go and pick on other kids and I won't let that happen."

They did not turn to acknowledge her departure and crossed their arms. "It's your funeral."

Kuki glared at their backsides. "So you meanies won't help at all?"

"Why in the world would we help _you_?"

Kuki flinched at their scathing remark.

Suddenly, she was reminded why they fought all the time.

Why they never shared their birthday cake.

Why they thought they were better than everyone else.

Why they never once helped anyone but themselves.

She felt so stupid thinking she could maybe change all that. "Because I thought we were becoming friends."

"We are not friends," the Delightfuls said firmly. They heard no witty retort and finally looked over their shoulders to see Kuki gone.

They scoffed. Just like a KND-loser to think they could take on the impossible. "Foolish girl."

"Foolish? Perhaps a bit. But quite motivated, that one is."

They looked up to see the twin's attendant hanging from the arm of the fountain, bearing a grin that made them want to smack it off his face. Their brows creased, the man's chuckles grating their nerves.

Oh yes, they remembered _him_ now as well.

"What do _you_ want?"

"Only to greet and meet, as I am apparently ever predestined to do." He swung around the length of the arm, hopping off the statue and parachuting down with his hat. "Can old friends not greet when they meet again?"

"Why would we associate with such a traitorous cur?"

"Ah, so you do remember," he grinned as he pattered about. "A cur I am not, but traitorous? I admit, I am a long suffering servant aching to be free of his servitude." He looked them up and down, taking in their new appearances first-hand. "Though perhaps you have a better understanding of me now, for our situations appear quite similar."

"Us? Servants? Don't make us laugh."

"Maybe not in the exact sense of the phrase, but shackles come in many forms and disguises." He smirked. "For I can only imagine your circumstances are not always so _delightful._ "

They turned their noses away from him. "Things change."

"Yet here we are again," he said, motioning with his arms as he circled them. "And I find myself believing you are reneging on our established terms."

That got their attention. They swiped at the attendant only for him to dance away. "We completed our end of the bargain. It's not our fault they somehow got loose."

"But loose they got and loose they have become. My wondrous mistresses; servants who fell to the temptation of serving themselves. And serve themselves they will, unless you stop them. For that was the deal. You would stop them whenever they needed stopping."

"Oh, but see, here's the wonderful little loophole: you made a deal with five stupid children." They smiled ever so cheekily as they got in his face. "And those five stupid children are _gone_."

The attendant took off his hat to sit upon it while he lost himself in thought. "If that's what you want to say, I'll let you say it. But see, while they may be gone, I stand before five not-so-stupid children."

"Then allow us to flaunt our not-so-stupidity by turning the other cheek," they said. They left the stubby man to his musing and continued to the gate that loomed so enticingly close. "Your masters concern us no longer."

"So you would walk away to freedom while poor Kuki walks to doom?"

They found that they hesitated for a second and hated that they did. "She'll only be doing it to herself. We even bothered to warn her. She can't best them; no one can now."

The attendant smiled as a gleam entered his eye. "Ah, so you admit it."

Despite knowing his tricky ways, they stopped walking. "Admit what?"

"That _they_ ," he hopped off his hat, "are better," he landed on his toes to gently poke Bruce in the chest, "than _you_."

They flinched, as if stricken. They stood their full height, giving the little imp their undivided attention. "They are not better than us. No one is! We are the most perfect children the entire world has ever seen; there's no one greater than we!"

"But turning tail to those your better?" he laughed. "Sounds a slight bit imperfect to me."

They growled, fire igniting behind their eyes. "The nerve you have questioning our superiority. We are better than those two relics. We are!"

"Really?"

"Really!"

He slowly smiled, using his hat to motion to the manor. "Then prove it."

 **transmission interrupted**


	4. Lump Four

**Link has been reestablished. Now resuming tranmission**

Contrary to popular belief, and the occasional _KND She-said-He-said Gossip_ article, Kuki was not an idiot. She knew this and her friends knew this, so that was okay with her. Others could say what they want, it never bothered her too much. Sometimes she'd get a bit grumpy at the rudeness, but hey, kids were kids.

Kuki was not an idiot, but there were times she felt like one. Like just a few minutes ago when she realized how stupid it was to think the Delightful Children would ever once consider someone beyond themselves.

And just like right now, as she realized how stupid it was to walk into unknown, hostile territory with no weapons, Intel, or backup.

Not one of her brightest ideas, but she was optimistic.

After a short climb and quick jaunt through the study, Kuki found herself back in the winding hallway of the manor. She hugged the wall tightly, inching across at snail's pace to avoid detection. No mind addled teens or adults had passed by recently, so she hoped that was a good sign.

The door to the dining hall was in sight and she had to take a few calming breathes to alieve her growing anxiety. She could hear her common sense throwing a fit; she should turn back, escape while she could, and get reinforcements. While that was the logical thing to do, she couldn't bring herself to leave. People needed her help (even though 90% were villains), and there was no telling what those twins would do while she ran away.

Besides, if the Delightfuls ever got wind that she turned tail after she charged in to prove them wrong, she would never hear the end of it from them next time they met. It would be on and on with _we-told-you-so_ jibs and how they knew she couldn't handle those two girls on her own.

Well, she would sure show them, the meanies.

"-not fair I tell you!"

"Oh come now, Sasha-"

"Don't _oh come now, Sasha_ me! I really mean it!"

Kuki's breath's hitched. Their voices were slipping out of the door and were getting louder with each step. The young girl had a moment of doubt but squished it down and continued on. She would find a way to beat them. There was always a way.

With the grace of a shadow, Kuki crept to the door, gently pressing into the frame to peer inside. The crack widened, and her narrow view expanded until she could witness most of the scene before her.

The dining table was gone, nowhere in sight, and two cushy Victorian style chairs took its place. In each of them sat one of the twins, the two bickering to pass the time. Around them, standing in place and staring off into space, were a few guests. Kuki only recognized Cree and The Steve; the other villains were those her sector did not encounter often enough to care about.

Between the twins, a glass table stood erect with a simplified arrangement of treats and tea they had earlier, though no doubt shortened to only accommodate two. The only sweet worth mentioning specifically was the Delightful cake; still imprisoned in glass and acting more like a trophy than a sweet.

That weird, jade tea pot from earlier was filled to the brim with tea, and next to it sat the clear sugar container. Kuki grimly noted that it was much fuller now. Selina snapped her fingers, and one of the adults reached for the kettle, pouring her and her sister a modest cup.

"Have some tea," Selina said. She brought her cups daintily to her lips and took a quiet sip. "Anxiety is most unbefitting of you."

"Yes, but I can't help it," Sasha whined before taking a shaking sip. Her jitters lessened the more she indulged, but her face still carried signs of melancholy. "We went through all this trouble, sullied our own hands, and for what?"

Selina quirked a brow.

"Nothing, Selina. Nothing!" Sasha snarled. "You said this would lure them here for sure!"

"I _said_ this would be perfect bait. I gave no guarantee the brats would take it."

" _Well they didn't_!" Sasha wailed, childishly kicking her feet. Selina rolled her eyes, but Sasha was far too caught up in herself to notice. "I wanted revenge so bad and now I won't get it. I actually think I may cry." Her lip quivered, eyes watering and cheeks flushing. Suddenly her face went dry as she looked to the quiet Steve expectantly. "You there, cry for me."

"Sure, Madam Sasha," Steve said, voice devoid of emotion. "Boo-hoo. Boo-hoo-hoo. Like, wah, and stuff."

"Ugh, that's enough," Sasha groaned, pushing him down. Steve did not respond or move to lift himself as Sasha snapped her fingers for Cree to produce a hanky. "You call that crying? Honestly, I have to do everything myself."

Sasha broke down into a pathetic display of tears and Kuki fought down the urge to scoff.

Sheesh.

She sized them up with a scrutinizing gaze, carefully noting every ruffle of their dresses and curls of their hair. The twins looked no older than she, only more uptight and haughty.

Okay, so they had weird soul-stealing sugar powers. It wasn't the weirdest thing she had encountered. It _was_ weird. Very weird and very creepy. But it wasn't the weirdest, so maybe things weren't as grim as they appeared. Besides, that trick only worked if she drank their tea, which thankfully, she hadn't. So she was safe, right? Right.

This planning thing was easier than she thought. Maybe she could convince Nigel to let her think up the strategy next time he got fussy. But that would come later. Now, she had to sneak in there and save the day.

And save the day she would! Perhaps if she poked around some more, she could find another way into the dining hall. She would be doubly careful, extra sneaky, and everything would be all hunky-dory again.

Kuki turned to sneak off, but squeaked as she bumped into something. "Oh, excuse me. I'm just trying to sneak into…"

Her voice grew quieter she her eyes trailed up the length of the man and his armor. Her eyes met with those of Mr. Fizz, the adult staring blankly down at her.

"Oh poop."

"Maybe we're not looking hard enough," Sasha said. Her tissue dabbed at her eyes and she held off another wave of sobs. "Where have we not looked?"

"There's no telling," Selina grumbled. She loved her sister, truly she did, but the sap had a terribly one-track mind. "For now, it's best to postpone our search."

" _Postpone_!? Are you crazy? You can't possibly be giving up on getting even with those-"

"I WANT TO MAKE THEM PAY AS MUCH AS YOU DO!" Selina exploded, and Sasha quickly moved to cower behind her chair. "Not a night goes by where I don't dream of cornering them with looks of abject horror carved into their faces. But we're wasting time looking for those brats when we could be harvesting more sugar!"

"Madam Selina, Madam Sasha."

Selina paused her tirade to school her features. Once she had settled, Sasha meekly repositioned herself while her sister greeted the return of their new minion. "This had better be good."

Mr. Fizz marched into the room, the ground shaking under the weight of his soda-suit. "I have apprehended a child."

Sasha blinked. "A child? Don't you mean children?"

"No," Fizz replied as he presented his bounty, Kuki squirming in his bottled grasp. "Just the one."

"You idiot," Selina hissed, her fists trembling and nostrils flaring. "There were six of them!"

"Now hold on, Selina, look," Sasha quickly said, trying to defuse her sister before another outburst spewed forth. "He brought the sweet one, see?"

Selina took a moment to recognize Kuki. Her expression softened with a smile and Sasha was awash with relief. "Oh, so he did. I suppose that'll do. Don't just stand there, bring her here."

Kuki tried her best to escape as Fizz moved closer, but it seemed pointless. Before she knew it, she found herself again in the twins' presence, only under more serious circumstances. Their mindless drones looked on passively and the two just sat in their seats with smug sneers.

"It was Kuki, wasn't it? I was always good with names," Selina joked. Kuki responded with a childish raspberry and Selina's eyebrow ticked. "Disrespectful little whelp, aren't you?"

"You know how kids are, dear," Sasha said airily. She leaned forward, hands on her knees as she puffed her cheeks. "Where are your friends? Did they leave you all alone?"

Kuki huffed and looked away.

"You poor, poor thing." Sasha giggled. "Their loss, but don't you fret. We have just the thing to cheer you up!"

Selina made a hand motion, and Cree responded. The teenager poured a fresh cup of tea and passed it to her master. Selina took it and gestured for Fizz to lower Kuki closer. "It's very rude to deny a cup when offered, but seeing as it's your first party, we'll let it slide. We're nothing if generous."

"Very generous," Sasha said with a mad grin. "Now be a good little girl and drink up."

Kuki looked at the tea with a disgusted look. "No thanks. It's icky."

"I wasn't asking."

"No!"

"Be reasonable, it isn't that bad," Selina intoned, waving the cup hypnotically in front of her face. "Discounting those nasty little side effects, I think you'll find our tea to the most delicious refreshment you've ever had. We're not cruel, sweetie. We stand for nothing but the best for those under our future employ."

"She's right, you know. It's only fair you sample what you'll soon be serving us." Sasha reached up to pinch Kuki's cheeks and ignored her wince. "Don't make us forcing you. Isn't there anything we can do to butter you up?"

Kuki gulped. She could feel the heat radiating from the cup; her taste buds screaming at the thought of it. However, the longer she pondered, the more her mind wandered. Her eyes slowly moved from the tea to Fizz, and she took a quick headcount of those around the sisters.

"Uh, how hot is it?" Kuki asked? "Is it really, _really_ hot?"

"Is that all?" Selina rolled her eyes and lifted the cup up to Cree. "Blow on this, will you?"

"No, no, no! That's not it," Kuki interrupted. "I like my tea hot. Really, really, _really_ hot?"

"Ah, a girl after my own heart!" Sasha excitedly reached for the tea, Selina releasing it without struggle. Sasha held the cup in her hands, steam rising and becoming more prevalent the longer she held it. Satisfied, she presented it to Kuki with a proud smile. "A little trick I learned for when the brew goes cold. Here, do try it!"

Kuki gingerly took the cup, holding it with an awkward smile. She braced herself, extended her pinky, and quickly downed the entire drink. The twins looked on wildly as they pressed their fingers together. Now all Kuki had to do was swallow.

Only, Kuki didn't swallow.

Kuki spat the scalding tea into Mr. Fizz's face.

"AHH!" the man screamed. The drink hissed against his thinly mustache, and he dropped Kuki as he attempted to wipe off his face with his over-sized gauntlets. "IT BURNS!"

Finally free, Kuki landed onto the ground. Her tongue lolled from her mouth, using a hand to fan it off while she swung her leg under Fizz's heels. The man teetered over, falling towards the sisters. Selina and Sasha yelped, the former grabbing the container and the latter snatching the kettle as Fizz crashed through the table.

The commotion spurred Cree and Steve into action. The two teens jumped into the fray to subdue the girl who so crudely insulted their mistresses. Cree's hand robotically moved to activate her BRA, but Kuki anticipated that. She moved to intercept Cree and caught her wrist. She sailed over the teen, bringing her arm with her, then pivoted on her toes and tossed Cree into Steve.

Kuki stayed in motion, but skidded to a halt as a group of villains blocked her path. She turned, only to freeze upon seeing the Toiletnator aiming his two-ply rolls. He fired, but Kuki nimbly dodged, and the villains behind her became entrapped in coils of the paper themselves.

The girl rolled over to the downed Mr. Fizz as he shook off the tea and tried to stand. Kuki forced his face into the rug and grabbed his arm to aim his soda gauntlet at the recovering teenagers. She fired, and Cree and Steve were pressed into the wall by a torrent of sticky root beer.

"Rah!" Toiletnator was stubborn, even under someone else's sway, and blindly charged to pummel the defiant girl. Kuki saw this and swiftly crawled onto Fizz's back. She ripped off the panel of his jet-pack, and called forth memoires of when she would watch Hoagie rewire HIPPIEHOP during repairs.

With a twist there, and a short zap to the caffeine nozzle, Fizz's rockets bubbled to life. Kuki waited until the Toiletnator was right on top of them, then flipped away as she kicked the jet-pack into overdrive. Without warning, Fizz shot off, crashed into the lavatory based villain, and the both of them went flying wildly into the air.

Fizz and Toiletnator went barreling through the nearest window and off somewhere into the night. Kuki panted with exhaustion as she looked around. The rest of the adults were still tangled in toilet paper, and Cree and Steve mildly struggled to free themselves from their sticky confines.

Okay, so that was over. Now she just needed to beat the twins.

"See? This is what happens when we draft help from the riffraff."

Kuki twirled as she heard Sasha speak, but found that aside from the incapacitated villains, she was alone.

"Tut, tut, tut. I bet she thinks she's earned a treat."

Kuki slowly backed up, eyes wildly looking for the two. Their voices seemed to be coming from everywhere at once. The hairs on the back of her neck stood and she sporadically turned to see Sasha appear. The girl had a face-splitting grin as she used the kettle to pour tea into her palm. The scalding brew hissed as it coated Sasha's hand and spilled to the floor, but the girl seemed completely unfazed.

"Oh yes," Sasha crackled. She stopped pouring and balled her fist, the tea slipping between her fingers. "A treat!"

Sasha swung her fist in an arch, a long tendril of tea whipping out and cracking Kuki across the face. The child's vision blurred as her world went spinning. She fell to the ground and quickly held her burning cheek. Tears threatened to spill as she bit down her whimpers and refused to show weakness.

The Delightfuls had the right idea. Once she got out of here, she would swear off the tea for the rest of her life.

Yet as a shadow loomed and she looked up to see Selina looking down at her, she found herself wondering if she would get out of this at all.

"I'm starting to remember why I hate children in general," Selina mused as she rolled a cube of sugar between her fingers. She tossed the cube into the air, the item exuding a bright, white light as it landed in her palm. She clenched down, and after a blinding flash, a scythe of pure sugar appeared in her grasp. She twirled the instrument and held the blade to Kuki's neck. "You're all so disobedient!"

"And that, sweetie, just will not do," Sasha added as she joined her sister. She knelt down, bringing the kettle with her. She prodded Kuki's chin with the spout, her eyes gleaming with deadly intent. "You looked parched."

"We insist that you drink to your heart's content," Selina said as she pressed the scythe deeper into Kuki's skin. "Or else you'll come to find our hospitality most hostile."

"That is a most amusing statement coming from you two."

 _BAM_

Kuki opened her eyes to see Selina and Sasha knocked off to the side. Their refined images shattered as they yelped and tumbled across the dining hall, rolling and lurching while their dresses knotted and tangled. They finally stopped, bodies meshed into each other as they laid there; humiliated to be caught off guard in such a manner.

She slowly sat up, at a loss for words as her apparent saviors stood next to her. The Delightful Children stared at the twins, almost bored as they waited for them to right themselves.

"Shall we educate you on true hostility?" they asked with level gazes, their faces stern and carrying sharp glares. "We find ourselves eager to impart our knowledge upon your faces."

Selina blinked as she mentally replayed the last twenty seconds. "Did you just smack us with a giant coffee mug?"

"Oh look, it can pay attention," they scoffed. They looked to Cuppa Joe's mug they acquired before storming in, then simply tossed it off the side uncaringly. "Crude, but more than effective against the likes of you."

Selina found her face twisting into a venomous snarl as fury clouded her thoughts. She looked ready to explode on the five arrogant brats, but found herself thrown away as Sasha rose and beat her to the punch.

"How _dare_ you!" Sasha raged, chest heaving as the Delightfuls looked on unimpressed. "You're going to wish you ran while you had the chance. What do you think you're doing!?"

"We came to have a tea party," they wryly said. "What do you think we're doing?"

"Isn't that adorable?" Selina jeered as she dusted herself off and joined her sister. "They came back to save their little friend."

"Don't waste our time with such drivel. We've come to take back our cake by force." Their eyes shifted to Kuki as they acknowledged her. "Besides, if we're not mistaken, Sanban gave us her word that we would leave this place with her together. We won't stand for someone to weasel out of established oral contracts."

Despite their emotionless words and indifferent stares, Kuki couldn't help but smile.

"Oh, _gag_ me," Selina said. "The nerve of some people; marching in here like they own the place. You cretins have no idea whom you're messing with."

"We have a general idea, and we're far from awed," they scoffed. "It should be no trouble to remind a couple of uppity housemaids of the pecking order."

Selina and Sasha tensed, their faces livid as they glared at the five. The sheer audacity these children had was beyond infuriating, and their own intent bordered on murderous. "What did you call us?"

"It's rather funny, honestly," they Delightfuls continued, gaining devious little smirks as they rattled the twins' egos. "Behind that flimsy veil of superiority, you two are nothing more than a pair of servants who forgot their true place in life. You got lucky, slipped out of your collars, and now you roam around pretending to be of high society. It's _hilarious_." They paused to laugh for effect. "To think we were so apprehensive of you. You two numbskulls haven't changed in the slightest."

Selina looked ready to retort, but stopped as she narrowed her eyes. Their words cut deep and sounded almost personal, yet that should be impossible.

They had already established that they knew nothing of them, so they couldn't possibly know their history. Selina peered off to the side, her mind taking a moment to contemplate the situation before studying the Delightfuls long and hard.

The resemblance was too uncanny, yet it couldn't possibly be them.

Could it?

"You…y-you insufferable _hoodlums_!" Sasha, however, appeared too far gone in fury to give their insults any deeper level of thought. "You think you can just waltz in here, crash our party, and insult us? We are ladies of the highest degree and DEMAND that you grovel and show us proper-"

"We tire of your theatrics!" the Delightfuls growled as they stood between the girls and Kuki. "Might we suggest you stop being such bores and reveal your true selves?"

Kuki blinked, confused, then gasped. With tremendous effort Lenny broke from the group, stepping forward as his fists clenched. "We remember you now."

Constance followed suit, moving to the opposite flank of her Delightful sibling. "We know your little charade."

David cracked his neck as he broke and moved into the looser stance. "We beat you once."

Ashely smirked, crossing her arms as she mirrored the others actions. "And when we destroy you this time?"

Bruce nodded his head, taking point of the V formation. "It shall be most _delightful_."

Sasha's eyes widened. The full weight of their defiance making more and more sense.

They looked just like…but they weren't.

…but those _eyes_ , those _voices_ , and that rebellious attitude.

She raised a shaking finger, lips moving but no sound being produced as she wrapped her mind around the revelation that thundered in her mind.

"It's them."

Sasha turned to look at Selina, the girl giving a small, cute smile. Every passing second, her smile grew and grew until it reached devilish proportions. "The little liars, it really is _them_!"

Her sister's words bolstered her affirmations, and Sasha found her lips twitching until she burst out laughing, clapping her hands like a toddler during Christmas.

Kuki felt a shiver go up her spine, feeling something very off about that laugh. Selina was no better, the girl simply crossing her arms and letting a dark smirk adorn her face. The Delightfuls stood vigilant, yet Kuki noticed how tight their postures became.

"It's them! It's them, it's them, it's them, and _oh it's too good to be true_!" she said with a cheery giggle. Sasha danced around, her exuberance off-putting to everyone present minus Selina. She gave one last little twirl before eyeing the five with a toothy grin. " _WE FOUND YOU_!"

"We have missed you so very much," Selina said, "our ever so elusive Sector Z."

Kuki audibly gasped, looking at the Delightfuls in a new light.

She had heard the stories, every operative and their sibling had heard the stories. Stories of the legendary Sector Z and how they mysteriously vanished without a trace.

Five folktales and five omens that shadowed the Kids Next Door.

It was only recently under Numbuh Three-Sixty-Two that the sector itself had been taken off the blacklist, superstition going only so far these days.

But now, after all this time, she discovered that Sector Z wasn't missing at all.

They were simply living right down the lane.

"No way," she said, her voice painted with shock and awe. " _You_ guys are the missing Sector Z?"

Constance quirked a brow as she regarded Kuki. "It appears Nigel has been keeping secrets. How like him to keep such information to himself."

"Perhaps it's for the best," David politely interrupted. "The last thing we need is the losers next door staging a faulty rescue mission."

"We implore you to reconsider. You brats are going to need rescuing once we've had our way with you," Sasha said as she flipped her hair over her shoulder. "Ah, but that just isn't your style, is it now, Numbuh 0.2?"

"It's _David_."

"If that's what you want on your tombstone, so be it." Selina chuckled, lightly covering her mouth as she smiled. "I've waited _so long_ for this."

"But has it truly been that long? I mean, look at them," Sasha said. "The only thing that's changed of them is their new wardrobe. You must share your beauty secrets, darlings."

Kuki frowned. "What does that mean?"

"None of your concern," Bruce quickly shot down before refocusing on the main threat. "If we're done reveling in nostalgia, can we get this over with? Father will be most displeased if we miss our curfew."

Suddenly, Sasha's smile became far more restrained. Her easy-going posture tightened and she snapped a hand to her hip. "My word, such callous disregard for all the trouble we've endured to fashion this reunion."

"Isn't it obvious?" Selina said, her stance and change in voice mirroring the girl beside her. "Under the shallow layer of posh and pamper those recalcitrant little deviants have not changed a bit."

"Sister, I believe it's time for us to give them a schooling." Sasha smirked, fangs jutting from her lips as her eyes began to eerily glow. "And sometimes the most inestimable lessons are the most laborious."

"True," Selina agreed, a pink aura radiating from her skin as she shared a look with her sister. "Shall we, Sasha?"

"Of course, Selina."

Kuki shielded her eyes as the swirling energy around the twins became blinding. Once the flash died down, she rubbed at her eyes and looked for the sisters again. Her head tilted in confusion, not seeing the two little blonds anywhere. Did they run away?

She was about to ask the Delightfuls if they scared them off, but noticed the five staring intently at a spot not too far away. Kuki followed their line of sight, and her eyes widened as she saw two completely different people.

Two girls, much older looking teenagers, stood as they idly sipped away at their tea. Their silvery curls bounced with every step they took, and their crimson skin was far too detailed for them to be suddenly flush with sunburn.

Kuki shivered as spade tipped tails coiled around their feet, the appendages stretching and flexing in freedom. Both girls looked identical, with only slight cosmetic and clothing differences.

This was definitely not a good thing.

"Who are you?"

"Perhaps proper introductions are in order," the one dressed as a maid laughed. "I am Lady Sasha."

"And I am her darling sister, Lady Selina," Selina clarified as she adjusted the tie of her butler unifrom. "And we are the Charming Servants of the Lower Circle."

Sasha smirked. "Or we used to be, anyway."

Kuki tapped her foot, the name not registering in her memory. "Servants?"

"Yes," Lenny answered. "These two demons used to prepare tea for the Annoyingly Cute Triplets who lived Upon the Hill. Their mother used their services to insure the triplets and any other children would remain under her control."

"I do so miss Mistress Dearest, she knew how to keep a brat in line," Sasha reminisced with a sad smile. "Such a shame her and our charges fell the day of the Alamode."

"A shame for her. We, on the other hand, saw an opportunity," Selina said. "With Dearest and her Triplets gone, we had no one to serve, yet our contract remained active. The decades we spent wallowing searching for someone proper to serve was agonizing. Ah, but then came the faithful day we discovered our wonderful new masters."

"Ourselves, of course," Sasha grinned, fangs jutting out. "For the following centuries we threw fabulous tea parties, taking the sugars for ourselves to brew our concoction to perfection. Everything was going so splendidly."

Selina's face fell into a sneer as her gaze settled on the Delightfuls. "That is until Sector Z happened."

Kuki looked to her temporary allies. "What did you guys do to make them so mad?"

"We beat them, obviously," Constance answered. "We were foolhardy idiots back then. Risking our very lives to protect ungrateful children from these two without asking anything in return. Ugh, we were so _sentimental_ back then. Disgusting."

"Oh, that makes sense," Kuki mumbled to herself. The reasoning behind this elaborate event was much more obvious now. "But if they wanted to get you guys, why did they go through all this trouble and steal your cake."

"Sector Z went missing; from you and us," Selina answered. She motioned to the cake. "We needed a way to flush them out of hiding. Sector Z's one fatal flaw was their love of cake. Always searching for the grandest pastry and sharing it amongst anyone. We knew in order to bring them to us, we had to entice them with something they could never refuse."

"Then we heard about the Delightful Children and how they had the best cakes around. We knew then we found our perfect bait for cake lovers of all ages," Sasha said. "Knowing beforehand that they and Sector Z were one in the same would have saved us trouble, but truthfully? I find this turn of events much more satisfying."

Bruce growled. "The only satisfying thing about this disaster is the fact we'll have the pleasure of wiping the floor with you two a second time."

"Yeah! We'll show them, new Sector Z friends," Kuki cheered. She raised her fists into the air. "Kids Next Door-"

"There will be none of that!" the Delightfuls protested in unison, causing Kuki to flinch. "This revelation changes nothing. We are _not_ in the Kids Next Door and we are _NOT_ Sector Z!"

"Such denial, it's almost sad," Selina said. She snapped her fingers, her sugar scythe flying back to her hand. "But not as sad as the humiliation you put us through! It matters not who you are or who you were, by the end of tonight the only thing you brats will be is dead."

Sasha held her hand out, the spilled tea collecting around her fingers. The mixture gave off steam as it solidified in a long whip. "Indeed. Talk is so dull, I do believe we'll vent our frustrations through actions now."

"Resorting to violence? How barbaric," David scolded. While he talked, Kuki watched as his hand slowly moved to his pocket. "In matters such as these, we think a mature, rational discussion is in order-TAKE THIS!"

"Gah!" Sasha hit the deck and Selina yelped as whatever David tossed smacked against her forehead. She held her head, eyes twitching as she watched some small, beeping device fall to the floor. "THAT WAS A CHEAP SHOT YOU LITTLE-"

"NOW!"

All at once the Delightfuls sprinted into battle, the five running and jumping up to tackle the twins while they were distracted.

Sasha, still low to the ground, positioned herself on all fours, and pounced. She twisted herself between their formation, turning around to snap her whip around David, Constance, and Ashley. With an insane cackle, the demon spun around in the air, slamming the three through one of the random paintings dangling from the wall.

Selina simply reeled back her scythe, preparing for a swing as Bruce and Lenny honed in. Thinking quickly, Lenny tossed his football helmet towards the attendant, and Selina stumbled as it knocked against her skull. Bruce brought down his heel, connecting where the helmet landed, and used the force to knock Selina off her feet.

The other three Delightfuls groaned, pushing aside a tattered Picasso and trying to regain their balance. David was the first to notice Sasha sprinting to them, and reached to a still intact Dali frame and chucked it. Sasha feel into a cartwheel, cleanly slashing through the painting with her whip. With extreme difficulty, the three split. Sasha brought her whip down a second too late, leaving a deep gash in the wall. Eyes wild, the first two she noticed were David and Ashley, and she giggled with manic glee as she gave chase.

Constance stumbled away, having to lean on a nearby chair for support. She held her head, feeling a tad faint. Splitting up for this long was a _horrible_ idea. She felt two hands lift her up, and she glanced to see Kuki fussing over her.

"Are you alright?" Kuki asked as she inspected the girl. She didn't appear to have any external injuries, but then again, she was no expert on Delightful physiology. "Any physical or emotional boo-boos?"

Constance weakly pushed Kuki away, her eyes desperately scanning the room for something. "Where is…the kettle?"

"Kettle?"

"The tea kettle, you idiot," Constance said, voice getting weak. Darn it, they thought they could hold out a bit longer. "We need it to beat them."

"Oh, right," Kuki nodded, face filling with understanding. Only for it to lose its understanding a moment later. "Hey, how did you guys beat them last time anyway?"

"They're lowly house servants; they have rules they must abide," Constance groaned. David and Ashley were faring poorly against Sasha; she could feel it. "Their magic was meant to serve the Triplets. Servants serve others, never-AH!"

Constance crippled over in pain, feeling it moment before it happened. Kuki, however, was taken completely by surprise when the bodies of David and Ashley were thrown into them. The youngest of sector V went flopping off to the left, while the three of the former sector Z whined and moaned in a heap.

"I think you've lost your touch, Numbuh 0.3. You were so frustratingly nimble last time," Sasha sneered as she pressed a foot onto Ashley's back. She spared a glance to David, grinning at the tears in his suit. "Though poor Numbuh 0.2 is no better. I say, you've all gotten spoiled and out of shape."

Sasha suddenly ducked, avoiding Constance's sloppy jump kick. With a flick of her fingers, Sasha's whip clutched the girl's heel and flung her upwards. She kicked Ashley away as her free hand rose to catch the Constance mid-air, her nails digging into her neck.

"Tsk, tsk, Numbuh 0.5, I'm sorely disappointed in you. Look at you, _gasping for air_. You had better resilience than that when you hit me with the broadside of a cinderblock." Her grip tightened and Constance cried. "You thought I'd forgotten about that, didn't you, you rotten little pest!?"

Her tirade was cut short when a heel slapped her in the back of her head. She stumbled, dropping Constance and nearly tripping over herself. She dizzily spun around, searching for her assailant, only for the small, angry, mass of Kuki to barrel into her side.

"Leave her alone, you big fat jerk!" she said, launching into a series of punches, chops, and kicks. Sasha, still dazed from the blow to the head, took more licks than she would ever admit in private company.

Acting on pure instinct, the demon roared and slapped wildly, catching Kuki by surprise.

"I've just about had it with you!" she yelled as she curled her whip around the child's waist. She harshly beat her into the wall, then lifted her high into the air before sending her plummeting to the floor. "STAY DOWN!"

Kuki crashed into the floor, her body going limp as she groaned into the carpet. Satisfied, Sasha returned her attention to the three only now just getting up behind her. "Now where were we?"

Bruce ran like the wind, like lightening as he weaved around Selina's strikes. He saw a stray foot stool, slid under it, and grabbed it before he righted himself. As he came up, he tossed it towards his foe, only for her to slice through it with ease. She was unnervingly close, and after a second, he winced as his tie was cut off.

"I'm not holding any punches this time, boy," Selina said as she brought up her scythe. Coming up from the rear, Lenny attempted to hit her while her sides were exposed, but she only laughed as brought her blunt end down upon his head and he went out like a light. "Seems Numbuh 0.4 isn't as head strong as he used to be."

Bruce backpedaled on his hands as Selina buried her scythe into the floor. She jerked it free, a veil of sugar dusting off the weapon, but she recovered and stalked after the boy. He crawled under the table, trying to gain a moment to recover, but he screamed as Selina cut through the wood, one section at a time.

"And you've grown so meek, Numbuh 0.1," Selina taunted as she chopped through the hardwood, Bruce crawling back further and further to get away. "No bravado? No witty remarks? No scathing banter? What was it you called me? Ah yes, a sunburnt hag! _Come on, insult me_!"

Bruce whimpered as he ran out of cover, backing into the wall and watching as the table was cut down to size as Selina got closer.

"I haven't cut your tongue out yet! But don't you worry. When I get my hands on you, I'll make you pay for every offense. Every humiliation! When I get you, I'm going to cut you into little-"

 _SLICE_

"- _itty_ -"

 _SLICE_

"- _BITTY_ -"

 _SLICE_

Wince.

Bruce braced himself, waiting to be chopped to bits like some carrot on a cutting board. Only, the pain never came. He slowly opened his eyes to see Selina smiling warmly at him as she held her scythe up high.

"Pieces."

 _ **SLICE**_

Bruce narrowly avoided his head been torn off, ducking just in time for the sugary blade to tear into the wall. Strings of his golden hair fell as he lurched forward, hoping escape between her legs. He frantically crawled only to find himself going nowhere. He looked back to see Selina had bent over, gripping the cuff of his collar and her scythe stuck into the wall.

"There's no running away this time."

With tremendous effort, Selina slung Bruce across the dining hall, the final Delightful Child collapsing next to his fallen brethren. He looked up through pained eyes, his siblings by fate laid bare on the floor, their clothes soaked with boiling tea and skin marred with bruises. After taking in their current state, Bruce fell silent as he stared down into his hands. It was just as he suspected.

Selina and Sasha were the same as ever.

"Oh dear sister," Sasha said as he sauntered up to them, her condescending stare igniting their ire. "This was just absolutely… _disappointing_."

"I'd hate to agree, but you're right," Selina said with a displeased sigh as she joined her demonic twin. "After all these years, after all this planning and anticipation, _this_ what we get? I feel cheated." She held her hand out, and her scythe dislodged itself and flew to her grip. "They're not even the same annoying brats anymore. They've gone soft and have been spoiled. Not even worth harvesting."

"So this is what the great Sector Z has been reduced to," Sasha said, prodding David gingery with the tip of her toe. "I suppose it is fitting. Not how I quite expected, but at least they finally learnt their place."

"Yes. Licking at our heels, begging for mercy."

Kuki groaned as she came to, her head pounding and body crying at every twitch. She gazed up to see the twins circling the Delightfuls, and she struggled to rise to save them before it was too late.

"Leave," she said, shakenly lifting herself on her elbows, "them alone. Ow."

"We'll deal with you momentarily," Selina said dismissively as she and Sasha prepared to finish off the five before them. "For now, say your goodbyes to Sector Z."

The demons expected a range of reactions. Fear, groveling, crying; you know, the standard. However, they could say with utmost certainty that they did not expect the Delightful Children to burst with mocking laughter.

"W-why are you laughing?" Sasha asked, completely aghast. Their volume rose in intensity, and her already red skin seemed to glow with rage. "WHY ARE YOU LAUGHING!?"

"Because you two are so disillusioned that it's almost _sad_ ," they said, Selina and Sasha feeling uneasy as they resorted to speaking in unison once more. "Sector Z this, Sector Z that. My, you two are obsessed. Hanging onto old grudges seems to be the only way to cope with your inferiority."

"Infer-" Selina could not even finish that sentence as her vision clouded over. "STOP MOCKING US! YOU BRATS _ARE_ SECTOR Z AND WE'RE GOING TO MAKE YOU PAY!"

"We grow tired of these silly games." All at once, the five rose collectively as if waking up from a mid-afternoon nap. Kuki and the twins watched as they all slid back into a cohesive unit, drawn to each other by some invisible magnetism that was uncannily beautiful to watch in motion. "We even gave you a sporting chance to show us your improvement, but it appears we were correction in our prior assessment."

Sasha growled. "What assessment? And what do you mean, give us a chance?"

"You honestly think we couldn't crush you before this farce of a battle could start? No, we were simply curious to see if you two developed new tactics to make this a bit more interesting." They all grinned as they pointed off to the left. "Remember the little favor David tossed your way when we arrived?"

Selina followed their fingers, her eyes catching the small beeping device that was chucked at her earlier. She frowned, how could she forget? "What of it?"

As if initiated by her query, the entire foundation began to quake. The ground beneath them trembled, as if the earth had decided to pry itself open to swallow them whole. Everyone but the Delightfuls anxiously looked around, searching for the cause of the disturbance.

"As for the assessment, allow us to make our conclusion," they continued oblivious to the world around them crumbling at the foundation. "You two have fell into stagnation while we have evolved into something you can never hope to achieve."

A large, chrome leg tore through the ceiling and crashed into the floor right in front of the twins. They fell back as the leg dragged towards the wall, easily plowing through it to create a makeshift entry for the rest of the metallic abomination. Selina and Sasha watched in horror as a large, disc shaped machine trampled into their manor, ebony protrusions and flaming chainsaws laying waste to anything that dared stand in its way.

"W-What is _that_!?"

"Oh! I know!" Kuki spoke up. "It's the Really Really Incredibly Destructive Machine!"

Sasha's voice was reduced to a pathetic squeak. " _I beg your pardon_?"

"You are correct, Kuki," the Delightfuls chuckled to themselves as they watched their machine craft a symphony of terror and demolition. "We suggest you enjoy the show. It's a rare occurrence indeed when we unleash it upon someone other than you and your associates.

"As for you colds, attacking separately is so passé. Allow us to remedy that. Let us go, me and you," they smirked deviously as they pressed their fingers together. "A little game of just five on two."

The Delightfuls snapped their fingers.

Selina and Sasha dodged as a flaming blade blitzed through the floor between them. Sasha flipped away off her hand, twirling herself and sharpening her whip to slash through the tentacle. She grinned as it went through flawlessly, only to scream as five more tentacles slithered from the cut and slapped her around.

"T-This isn't right!" Selina said as she dodged laser and chainsaws, having to execute a neigh perfect dance of finesse to avoid blows. One mistake would prove extremely fatal. She rotated her scythe to deflect the volley of blows, yet her brow twitched as exhaustion began catching up to her. "This isn't fair!"

"Who ever accused us of being fair?" they said as they started to stroll forward. "You really think we would play by your rules? Come at us with your little whips and blades; we'll simply use some fancy tools of our own."

Sasha was tossed about like a rag-doll, the pain ceasing as she was deposited to the floor. She looked up to see the Delightfuls Children stroking their chins as they studied her. They looked so smug and sure of themselves.

It made her want to rip their faces off.

"We'll give you one chance," they said as they lowered their arms and closed their eyes. "Hit us if you're able."

Sasha grinned, raising her hand as tea curled around her wrist. Before she could even attempt to end them, a leg of the machine crashed in front of her and flicked her over to her sister. Selina panted as the chainsaws let up, only to grunt as her twin was slammed into her.

"Your mistake was coming into this assuming you knew us. You thought we were the same brats who faced you before. What you fail to understand is that we are everything they are _not_ ," they ground home as they continued to stroll to the center of the room. "We are refined."

The twins screamed another leg kicked them to the side.

"We are meticulous."

The machine's tentacles coiled around the duo, Selina and Sasha too haggard to stage a proper struggle to their newfound entanglement.

The Delightful Children bent over, picking up the discarded kettle with cheeky little grins. "We are ever so _delightful_."

Selina vented her screams of frustration. "YOU NO GOOD JUVINLIES!"

"Well-Behaved Juveniles, thank you very much."

Sasha squirmed against her bindings, her tail flinging wildly as she valiantly tried to escape. She saw the five approaching and narrowed her eyes at the jade kettle in their grasp. "Really? Is that your master plan? We won't fall for that trick again, you whelps. Do your worst!"

"Our worst?" They blinked cutely before shrugging. "If you insist."

They shared a gulp as it suddenly got very toasty. The twins careened their necks and paled as they saw a blazing blade inching dangerously close to their heads.

"W-What are you doing? What are you trying to prove?" Selina spluttered, eyes going wild as the blade got closer. Sasha was crying now, and she so desperately wanted her to shut up. "Y-You're Sector Z! You wouldn't resort to this!"

"You still don't get it, do you? Allow _us_ to teach _you_ a lesson. Sector Z is nothing more than a forgotten memory." The Delightfuls began stepping up to the twins, a series of tentacles lowering under their feet to create makeshift stairs. They reached the two demons, the hot flames of the saws reflecting off of their cold, blue eyes.

"We are the _Delightful Children from Down the Lane_ ," they said slowly. They leaned back, awaiting their machine to finish the job. "And we're _better than you_."

 **transmission interrupted**


	5. Lump Five

**Link has been reestablished. Now resuming transmission**

Sasha sniffled, halting her tears to look between the brats and her sister. Selina, amazingly, was at a loss for words. Her glasses slowly slid down the bridge of her nose and she seemed to be resigned to their grim fate. Sasha was in denial.

It could not end like this. She refused to let it end like this. She looked to the Delightfuls again, their cruel smirks etched into her memory and reminding her of three other little deviants she encountered long before their time.

As her mind played with that train of thought, she began wondering which meant more.

Her life?

Or her dignity?

"N-Now hold on, eh, the Delightfuls Children, right?" Life it is. "Let's not be so hasty about this."

They glared.

"Okay, so, you have every right to be cross with us," she awkwardly laughed. "But surely you of all people understand the urge for revenge? Especially against rotten Kids Next Door hooligans."

"So we're hooligans now?"

" _Sector Z_ were hooligans," Selina butted in, hoping she was following along with her sister's last minute ploy for salvation. "But as you've clearly demonstrated, you are not Sector Z. No. No, you five are so much… _more_."

"Oh?"

"You remind us so much of our former mistresses," Selina continued with an easy smile. "So well-mannered, so properly groomed. So deviously delightful."

Kuki quirked a brow, wondering why the twins looked so calm now. However, all it took was one glance to the Delightfuls, seeing the five absorbing the praise, to figure out that this spelt bad news.

"We see now that we were mistaken," Sasha relented, bowing her head. "If you find it fit to show us mercy, we shall honor it the only way we know how."

The Delightfuls grew curious. "What is your offer?"

"To be your attendants, of course," Selina suggested. "Think about it. You will host the most extraordinary tea parties the neighborhood has ever seen, and each freshly poured cup means another faithful minion to cater to your every whim."

Sasha grinned. "Why let this dreadful botch of business spoil such a wondrous potential relationship? We get our sugar, and you will be unstoppable."

Kuki scoffed. "That deal sounds stinky! There's no way my Delightful friends will agree to that, right guys?" She blinked looking up to see the Delightfuls slowly grinning to themselves as their eyes glossed over with fantasy. "G-Guys?"

"Quiet, girl," they said. The prospect was fabulously tempting. The demons had displayed their capacities for sinisterly deeds, and from what they could recall from selected memory, combined with their superior intellect and charm, they would be nigh unstoppable.

The Delightful Children carefully looked over Selina and Sasha, recalling every single encounter they had with them in a different life. Up until the very day they thought they did away with them for good, they terrorized children everywhere and were their own masters.

The Charming Servants of the Lower Circle were a force to be reckoned with. Anyone who crossed their path never had a happy ending. The two sought to further no means but their own.

They knew this all too well.

"We accept."

Kuki paled. "No!"

"Yes!" Selina and Sasha laughed, the saws reeling back and the tentacles dropping them to the floor. They stood on wobbly legs, tidying their uniforms and trying to regain some sense of decency. They then went to attention, and then gave low, respectful curtsies. "We humbly await your command, sirs and madams."

"Ah, now this is how it should be. We're glad you realized the proper order of things," they said, satisfied as they stepped down. They paused for a moment, looking over the jade kettle. After a moment of consideration, they shrugged. Might as well. "To mark such a splendid occasion, I do believe a toast is in order."

The two demons were caught off guard, not expecting that. They shared a brief look before Selina stepped forth. "Come again?"

"A show of good faith." The Delightfuls wandered over to the fallen table, gently propping it up and sorting the stray cups that had been strewn about carelessly. David held the platter, and the group walked to the twins as Bruce poured two servings. "Out with the old, as they say. Tonight harkens a new beginning for our glorious reign, and an end to frivolous ghosts of the past."

Selina and Sasha took their cups, looking down suspiciously. "Really now?"

"But of course. It is proper etiquette," they said with a chuckle. They held the kettle to the twins, arching their brows expectantly. "Well? You are going to pour our cups, are you not?"

Selina and Sasha shared a smile as they sat their cups on one end of the platter. Selina accepted the kettle, and went on to pour a cup for Bruce, Ashley, and Constance each. Sasha then did her part, pouring the remaining cups. In their hands, pouring a cup of tea was not a chore, but an art.

The Delightfuls nodded, but tutted as Selina and Sasha reached for their cups. "Now hold on, we do believe you are forgetting Miss Sanban." They turned and regarded Kuki, grinning at how she flinched. "This reunion would not be possible without her, after all."

Sasha was licking her lips as she produced a sixth cup, her and Selina cornering the frightened girl. "I think you are right, sirs and madams."

Selina smirked, taking the cup her sister poured and placing it in Kuki's trembling hands. "Third time's the charm, right?"

Kuki whimpered as she looked to the unconscious guests around her. She looked into her mug, her reflection shimmering in the mocha pool. She slowly looked up as the Delightfuls joined them, the sisters turning their backs to her as they greeted their newfound masters. "W-Why are you doing this? I-I thought that…"

"Silly girl, this is the difference between you and us. You think," the Delightfuls began, each grabbing their cup with content hums. "We _do_."

Selina and Sasha stifled a laugh, holding their cups high. "Cheers!"

 _CLINK_

And with that, they drank. Kuki blinked back tears as she brought the mug to her lips, finally being forced to succumb and drink the foul mixture. The liquid sizzled against her tongue and smoothly eased down her throat.

It was delicious.

Those _monsters_.

"Hmm," the Delightfuls said as they finished, looking at the empty cups in a new light. "Not bad at all."

"We knew you would see it our way," Sasha chuckled. Her eyes turned to Kuki, unable to contain her glee. "And now we can _finally_ begin the new harvest."

"Oh yes," Selina pressed her fingers together.

Suddenly, she spun on her heel, bringing her hand close to the Delightfuls' faces. "But you first, _masters_."

She snapped her fingers.

"Hmm, they actually tried it," the Delightfuls mused as Selina's jaw dropped. Bruce, Ashley, Constance, and Lenny leaned away to nod up at David. "It seems you won the bet, David. First slice goes to you, as promised."

The tall brunette smiled. "Excellent."

Sasha looked between her sister and the five as fear welled in her belly. "Uh, w-what just happened?"

"Nothing, by your expression," the Delightfuls idly commented. "We were curious about our theory, but never thought we would actually put it to the test. In the end, we were right. As always."

"I don't follow."

"Your magic steals the free will of your victims. Every unsavory, rebellious, ill-behaved aspect of it to turn children into perfect, mindless, obedient citizens of society." They then smirked, puffing out their chests. "We are immune because you cannot steal our free will. We surrendered it long ago, and already are the most perfect, obedient, responsible children in the whole wide world. Father accepts nothing but the best, after all."

Selina let her hand drop and stared a hole into the floor. She looked to the Really Destructive Machine in the background, and the sight honed on how much she just screwed up. " _Crud_."

"OH PLEASE FORGIVE MY SISTER!" Sasha wailed, throwing herself at the Delightfuls feet. She cried into their shoelaces, and looked up to them with quivering lips. "I-I had no idea she was going to try and deceive you, honest! If you must punish her, feel free, but I'm innocent. In fact, that whole revenge thing was all her idea!"

"Wow," Selina breathed, glassing slipping down her nose as she stared at her sniveling sister. "You're _such_ a brownnoser."

"It's quite alright," the Delightfuls said off-handedly. "It's only fair, considering we deceived you first."

Both sisters tensed and Sasha paused her begging. "Little brats say what?"

"Humor us, how did we go about beating you last time?"

Selina frowned as she thought back on that horrible day. "How could I forget? We were just about to complete our perfect plan and bring your Supreme Leader under our heel when you deviants showed up. In all the confusion, you switched the tea-cups and we ended up drinking from our own…"

Her voice trailed off as she looked down at her cup, then to the smug faces of the Delightfuls.

No, that was impossible. They couldn't have-

She _watched_ the cups this time.

She did!

She and Sasha didn't pour their own drinks, they couldn't have.

The Delightfuls started the toast, then they poured tea for the brats, then they turned around and poured the stupid little crybaby hers…

The cup fell from her hand and shattered against the floor.

"No," she whispered in horror. She looked at Kuki, the poor child extremely lost, then to the Delightful Children who just started laughing. Suddenly, her heart pulsed as her throat suddenly became very dry. "No. No, no, _no_!"

"Selina?" Sasha called out worriedly. She stood, but felt a wave of wooziness hit her, and she barely able to keep her footing. She suddenly began coughing, feeling as if bile was bubbling her throat. "W-What's going-"

" _They switched the cups_ ," Selina attempted to yell, but her voice became raspy as she fell to her knees. Sasha mirrored her status and realization and she collapsed to the floor while her sibling continued raving to the heavens. " _You-HACK-tricked us! Y-You horrible, little-HACK_!"

"This would be twice now, correct?" the Delightfuls said as they picked up the jade kettle, the object glowing as they cracked open the lid. "So, shame on you."

Kuki did not know what to make of what she was seeing. The two sisters were on hands and knees, coughing and choking as steam rose from underneath their uniforms. After a moment, she squinted her eyes as the two started to flicker.

" _Not again_ ," Sasha cried, watching her hands fade and beginning to see the floor through her palm. " _Not…again_."

Selina began crawling to the Delightfuls, snarling and snapping with her fangs. She swiped at their knees with her claws, and screamed when it simply passed through them.

" _Y-You fools could've had it all_ ," she said as she felt the pull and her eyelids became heavy. " _Why did you_ …"

"We won't lie, your offer was most tempting. Why, had the circumstances been any different, we would have accepted." They shook their heads as they held up the jade kettle. "Unfortunately, there's just one little hang-up that just still hasn't changed, even after all this time."

Selina's protest died and she fell to the floor, exploding into a pink mist that was sucked into the tea kettle. Sasha attempted to escape, but fell victim to the same fate. The hazy cloud wisped through the air, being contained within the kettle without much fanfare.

When the two were finally sealed, the lid snapped shut and the Delightfuls snorted. "We still hate tea parties."

Kuki's anxiety shriveled away when it appeared Selina and Sasha were finally gone. There was a long silence where no one said anything. The Delightfuls stood there, staring blankly at the kettle while Kuki just took a second to wrap her mind around everything that just happened.

This party had been a trip.

"So we won?" she finally asked, the Delightfuls responding with a curt nod. "But how?"

"My mistresses sought to dress up, and dress up they did! Layer of lies, a blush of deceit, and the gown of illusion was complete. They neglected their history and became anew. But they can't dress up underneath. No hiding what they really are."

Kuki turned, gasping upon seeing the attendant with the funny hat from earlier. She had nearly forgotten about him. The stubby little man pranced into the room, stopping in front of her and the Delightfuls as he breathed in deeply from his nostrils.

"Their magic was great, but great magic has costs. It was never to be used for their own gain. My mistresses were servants," he rattled on, taking the kettle from the Delightfuls and wiping off a smudge. "And servants are to _never_ serve themselves."

Kuki nodded to show she followed his logic. While he was busy cleaning the kettle, she slowly sidestepped to the Delightfuls and whispered, "I don't get it."

They rolled their eyes. "Did it ever once occur to you why they never poured themselves their own tea and why they needed minions in the first place?"

Kuki blinked.

The Delightfuls growled.

" _Oh_. I get it!"

The Delightfuls sighed.

"Whelp, it appears the transaction is complete, and the deed is transacted," the stubby man said as he tapped a finger against the jade. "Many thanks are to be said, for you remembered not to renege!"

"We didn't do it to make good on a deal, we did it to prove a point to you, cur," they grumbled, crossing their arms. "Should've just finished them off like we wanted to. Sealing them away just allows them another chance to escape."

"Ah, destroy them you could've. But it is not the Sector Z way, is it not?"

"We are _not_ Sector Z anymore!"

"If that is what you wish to say, then I shall let you say it." The man paused for a moment before dipping the kettle as if to pour out tea. Only it wasn't tea that spilled from the spout, but white shimmers of light.

Kuki and the Delightfuls watched the lights danced around them, one encircling Kuki, and the others flying in different directions. A few flew towards the other guests, settling into their chests as the glow dimmed out. The remaining wisps split down the separate corridors and others zipped out the window, intent on returning to their rightful owners.

The man chuckled as he suddenly chucked the kettle towards the Delightfuls. "Quickly think!

"WATCH IT!" The Delightfuls yelled as the kettle fumbled in their hands. Their grip slipped and it almost fell to the floor, but Kuki reacted promptly and slid under them to catch it. They allowed themselves a quick sigh of relief before turning to give the attendant a piece of their mind. "Do you have any idea what would happen if that…broke."

The attendant, having fulfilled his last service, disappeared.

Kuki was more than a bit weirded out by the strange little man. "Who was that? An old friend?"

"That was the Brat with the Hat; though we suppose he's not a brat anymore," they answered. "And he most certainly is not an old friend. We made a deal with him; he would inform us of the Charming Servants' weakness, and we would free him of their service."

"Oookie-dookie," Kuki giggled, deciding not to give it much thought. "That was really scary, but also really fun if you think about it. We won!"

"Fun?" The Delightfuls spluttered. "In what demented fantasy world do you reside in where _that_ horrible affair qualifies as fun?"

"One where we save the day and kick bad guy booty," Kuki said, doing a series of kicks and karate chops.

The Delightfuls waved off her antics, crossing their arms as she acted like a dunce. Kuki tripped on the carpet, went tumbling over, but Lenny's hand snapped out of its own accord to catch her by the scruff of her collar. The boy himself refused to acknowledge this as he and brethren simply dryly glanced to the side.

"Ooopsie," Kuki laughed. Her eyes widened as she wiggled free and ran off. "I almost forgot!"

"Forgot what? Your dignity?" They turned to watch her, curious as to what she was up to now. They saw her wandering behind the chairs the sisters had been sitting in, then found themselves grinning as she presented the bounty. "Our cake!"

"Yup-yup," Kuki said as she held the dessert up high. "Mission accomplished!"

"Well, it appears you have your uses after all," the Delightfuls lightly praised. They fiddled in their pockets, looking for the keys for their Destructive Machine still standing in the distance. "Let us depart this dreary setting so we may finally commence with eating our cake and rubbing it in your faces, as is tradition."

"See, about that," Kuki slowly said as she swayed on her toes. She smirked, grabbed the cake display, and darted off down the hall out of sight. "Buh-bye!"

"W-WAIT!" The Delightfuls called out. They broke into a sloppy sprint, but ended up tripping over the downed body of The Steve. By the time they looked up, Kuki Sanban was long gone with their birthday cake.

"W-Why that no good," they said, lips trembling as they snarled to fight back the wetness behind their eyes. They pounded their fists into the ground, throwing tantrum. "How could we be so stupid?"

The little sneak had them marked for saps the entire time. They should've seen this coming. This had all been some elaborate trick to make off with their birthday cake. No doubt Nigel had recruited Kuki into forcing them to come to this stupid thing so she could make off with their cake when she had the perfect chance.

What buffoons they were. To actually think they were beginning to consider that Sanban's affections were genuine.

Well, they would not make that mistake again! The next time they saw those no good, misbehaving Kids Next Door, they would-

Their thoughts of revenge halted when they felt a tap on their shoulder. They growled, preparing to explode, only to make a cute noise of bewilderment when they saw Kuki kneeling down with an extended hand.

"Just kidding," she giggled. The Delightfuls were too dumbstruck to deny her assistance, and she slowly helped them back to her feet. After dusting them off and straightening their ties, and passed them the cake container. "Here you go!"

They took the cake, not sure what to think of this. After all that, she was just going to hand it over? "You're…giving it to us? Just like that?"

Kuki nodded.

"This…this is a trick, isn't it?"

Kuki shook her head.

"Wait. You can't fool us, we're on to you, Sanban," they said, thinking they had exposed her ploy. "Nice try, but it's not going to work. You think simply because you returned to us what is rightfully ours that we will share our cake with you? You really are an idiot if you think false charity will convince us to-"

Their words became twisted and distorted when Kuki lurched forward, somehow collecting them all in one, massive, group-hug. "C-Cut that out! What do you think you're doing?"

"Thank you for saving me, Delightful friends."

"W-We," they began protesting, their faces red and thankfully Kuki was positioned where she couldn't see them. "We are not-"

"We could be."

The Delightfuls said nothing as Kuki continued her hug, choosing to look away as something came over them. As they were being held in a warm embrace they had not felt in so long, they felt themselves being drawn to another place in another time.

For the briefest of moments, the Delightful Children did not feel so delightful.

They weren't in some ruined, abandoned manor, but in a bustling, lively station with the stars overlooking them and a giant blue orb hanging in the vast expanse beyond.

The Charming Servants were defeated; gone for good and their nightmare gone with them.

Kids rose up and cheered them on, hollering like snotty children were prone to do, only it didn't annoy them.

They loved it. They relished every passing second.

They felt warm.

They felt like they were home.

And it wasn't Kuki hugging them, but someone different. Someone similar, yet so very different at the same wearing a dinky dish-canister as a helmet.

The small girl was their leader, their Supreme Leader.

But in this one moment she wasn't that much a leader, and more of a long lost friend.

A friend they would risk their lives for over and over again.

A friend, they depressingly realized, they missed dearly.

" _Thank you for saving me, guys_."

And just like that, the memory vanished, becoming foggier as they reluctantly pushed it away. Kuki began pulling back, and they couldn't bring themselves to look at her just yet, opting to marvel at their cake and the deliciousness that was awaiting them.

Only when they looked into the glass, one last memory shimmered in the reflection as five, uncomfortably familiar faces saluted them.

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing!" they quickly recovered, hiding the cake behind their backs. They blinked, then coughed into their hands as they mumbled. "And d-don't you dare let anyone know we allowed that act of stupid sentimentality. We know where you live!"

"Don't worry," Kuki said, crossing a finger over her lips. "My lips are sealed!"

"They better." They shook off nostalgia, already forgetting why they had been overcome by emotion as they wandered to their Machine. "Now can we finally get out of here?"

Cue their machine exploding in a plume of fire and mustard.

"Oh, _come on_!"

"Hold it right there, Delightful deviants!"

Kuki got excited at the familiar voice, hopping with unbridled glee as four familiar faces stormed out from the rubble of the Really Destructive Machine. "Hey guys! You missed the party!"

"Then consider this the after-party," Hoagie said, smirking as he loaded his turkey rifle. The bird gave an ear-piercing squawk as eggs deposited into the canister. "And we brought the favors!"

Abby lowered her weapon and wiggled her hand. "Eh, needs work."

Wally ignored the two, centering his sights on the five brats standing too close to his friend. "You losers better put some distance between you and her or your faces are gonna get real personal with my fists!"

"Wally, don't be rude," Kuki jokingly scolded before waving at her leader. "Hiya, Numbuh 1. I didn't know you were coming."

"We thought we'd invite ourselves," Nigel answered. "We've been looking for you all afternoon! When we picked up the Delightfuls' Really Really Incredibly Destructive Machine on the move, we mobilized to follow it. And it's a good thing we did." He then turned his attention to his foes. "You five move a muscle, and you're in for a world of egg-yolk. Numbuh 3, get over here now!"

"Okay!" Kuki obeyed, waving at the Delightfuls as she rejoined her team. "Bye-bye, Delightful friends."

The Delightfuls groaned. They decided to just ignore Kuki all together as they fell back into their normal routine with the bald one.

He was so much easier to deal with. They shot him, he shot back.

Simple.

Right now, they needed simple.

"Late as ever, Nigel. Normally we would stay and play with you, but it's been a long evening, and we have much better things to do."

"Unless those things involve handing over that cake, then I think you can spare a moment," the bald boy replied. "No trump cards this time, dorks. Hand it over!"

The Delightfuls frowned, then slowly realized that the guests around them were starting come around. The villainous adults whined as they held their heads, and the teenagers got to their feet, and stumbled around confused.

" _Dude_ ," The Steve said, holding his stomach and adjusting his sunglasses. "That was some _wicked_ party!"

Cree rubbed at her eyes. "We were at a party?"

Seeing their chance, the Delightfuls bowed. "Well, Sanban since we have retrieved our cake, we think we shall do you a kindness and release you from your promise. It appears we shall not be leaving together after all."

Kuki nodded, but stopped. "Why?"

"Until we meet again." They suddenly ran in the opposite direction, David holding the cake while the others cupped their hands over their mouths and screamed. "THE KIDS NEXT DOOR ARE HERE!"

Cree and Steve blinked, then snarled. "Kids Next Door?"

The adult villains jumped up, whipping out their weapons as they narrowed in on the five. "Kids Next Door!"

Nigel face-palmed and sent Kuki an annoyed glance. She awkwardly shrugged and he rolled his eyes and shouted, "BATTLE STATIONS!"

 _ **/-/-/-/-/**_

"…and then there was yelling, running, more yelling, and then they went BOOM!" Kuki said excitedly, falling to her bed and making doll-angels among her giant assortment of stuffed animals. "It was the best tea party I've ever been invited to."

Nigel sighed as he lowered his clipboard. "It's the only tea party you've been invited to, Numbuh 3."

"Details, details," she shushed, scrambling to the end of her plushy bed. She hung her head over the end, laughing as Nigel appeared upside down from her perspective. "Why don't we ever have a tea party? We could totally have a tea party! Your dad can make us tea, your mom can make us cookies-it'd be great!"

"Maybe later. For now, focus. I need to give Global Command a proper report of your account," Nigel said as he went back to scribbling. "The Delightful Children are bad enough, but with the threat of these Charming Servant demon things in the air, danger levels of parties everywhere jumps straight to red!"

"But we beat them, silly. I told you that."

"They were apparently beaten once, but that didn't stop them permanently, apparently." Nigel ceased his writing for a moment and gave Kuki a stern stare. "Besides, you're lucky this outweighs your poor performance. I'm very disappointed in you, Numbuh 3?"

She flipped around, folding her arms under her chin, kicked her legs up and blinked cutely. "Why?"

"Because if what you say is true, then you gave the Delightfuls their cake back!" His waved his hands around, acting if she had said she was considering going traitor. "What were you thinking?"

"They saved me, so I thought I would be nice. Maybe they'll remember it and share it with us next time."

"I highly doubt that," he said. "Numbuh 3, you can't trust them. I don't know why they went out of their way to assist you, but it probably benefitted them somehow. They're our enemies; you should always be weary of their motives."

"But they're not our enemies, not really. I found out a sooper important secret." She then stood on her bed, wrapping an arm around his neck and bringing him close. She looked around, and once the coast was clear, she whispered, "The Delightful Children are Sector Z!"

Nigel tensed, Kuki actually leaning away as he stared out her. Even with his sunglasses in the way, she could feel the intensity of his gaze.

"Kuki," he said evenly, and she began fidgeting. Nigel rarely spoke to her like that, and most of the time, he only did it when she was in big trouble. "Where did you hear that?"

"The twins," she mumbled as she buried her arms further into her sleeves. "And, um, the Delightfuls too."

Nigel looked away, and Kuki plopped down on her butt. Her leader was normally stoic, sure, but only those close to him knew when something was really bothering him. And for whatever reason, what Kuki had just told him was really grinding his gears.

She could tell. She was close to him, after all.

Then, Nigel further worried her as he took the report he had been writing up and cleanly tore it in half.

"Nigel?"

"Listen to me very carefully, Kuki," he said, voice soft as he took off his sunglasses to look at her. "Under no circumstances are you to divulge the information you've learned with anyone. Not your sister, not your hamster, not Wally; anyone."

Kuki was getting anxious. "Why?"

"The knowledge that the Delightful Children are, in fact, the missing Sector Z is Zip-Yer-Lip class information. You are to share it with no one under threat of decommissioning."

She gasped only to cover her mouth, it feeling all tingly with spicy information. After a moment, she peeled her hands away as she frowned at Nigel. "Wait a goshdarn second, you _knew_ didn't you?" She didn't wait for him to answer. "Of course you did! They said you were keeping secrets!"

"I discovered this during the Grandfather incident." They both shivered at the mention of such a traumatic period. "And I'm telling you the same spiel I was given when I brought it to Rachel's attention."

"Why all the secrecy? Shouldn't we do something?"

"The Delightful Children were delightfulized to insane degree; not even the recommissioning device could undo their transformation for long. It's a terrifying thought," Nigel sighed as he peered out her window, eyes wandering to the manor far on the horizon. "Father wanted the most perfect, well-behaved, adult respecting children ever, and he got them. Permanently."

Kuki shuffled. "There's nothing we can do?"

"Not yet. There's a sooper secret, ultra-special science nerd team analyzing delightful chamber technology. Once they discover a breakthrough, I'm sure we can free them from Father's hold."

Kuki smiled at that. "Oh, that's good then. What will we do then? Ah, I know, we could probably go on missions with them and be best friends! We'd visit each other's treehouse, go see movies, beat up adults and-"

"If the Delightful Children were to ever be cured, we would have to promptly decommission them."

The room fell silent, Kuki shell-shocked and Nigel crumpling the paper in his hand. He looked to his teammate, nodded, and donned his shades as he made for the exit. "Get some rest, Numbuh 3. I'll see you in the morning.

"But," she said. Upon seeing him hesitate, she continued. "Why…why do they need to be decommissioned? It's not their fault they're bad guys."

"It's not."

"Then why?"

"The cautionary tale they tell you as a cadet is a lot older than they let on, Kuki." Nigel stood in the doorway, his hand gripping the frame as he lowered his head. "Sector Z went missing a long, long time ago."

He left without another word, leaving Kuki to her thoughts. She slowly fell back on her bed, staring at her ceiling as if it would give her all the answers. Her mind wandered to the Delightfuls, how could it not? She thought about them, their fate, and the information she had just sworn to never tell anyone.

Despite being their enemy, she found the whole situation completely unfair.

Deciding she needed some rainbow monkey love, Kuki hopped off her bed and made her way to her closet. She was going to need Losta Lovin' Rainbow Monkey to deal with this grief. As she walked through her room, she heard a commotion at her window. She turned around, seeing nothing strange at first, then rose a brow as she saw something on the sill.

Kuki carefully walked over, not knowing what to expect and the events from earlier still weighing on her mind. She picked up the Tupperware that had mysteriously made its way to her window. Weird.

Maybe it was trying to get back to the kitchen and got lost? It felt a bit heavy, so she peeled back the lid and looked inside.

Sitting there, all neat and sweet, was a piece of chocolate cake. She frowned. Not that she would ever turn down cake, but where the heck did this little guy come from? Off in the corner was a folded note and she snatched it and carefully read the contents.

Her heart broke a little as she read the line over and over again.

" _Tell the Kids Next Door we miss them."_

Kuki gently took the cake, using her sleeve to wipe at her eyes as she sent a sad smile down the lane.

"We miss you too."

 **end transmission**


End file.
